tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-63960753030500897992024-03-12T18:59:55.881-07:00Fresh Hope, a Blog by Pastor Brad Hoefs Omaha, NEUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396075303050089799.post-87507221894861918882012-09-17T08:06:00.000-07:002012-09-17T08:06:48.790-07:00The Hope Factor
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<span style="color: #353535; font-family: Tahoma; font-size: 13pt;">One can easily loose hope when dealing with a mental health
issue. Feeling hopeless is a common experience not only for those of us
who have experienced mental health difficulties but also for our loved
ones. Loosing hope strikes right at the core of our will to live.
And this “thief of hope” leaves us "feeling" empty and void of any
reason of moving forward. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #353535; font-family: Tahoma; font-size: 13.0pt;">Not only have I experienced this myself, but also as a group
facilitator I have seen it over and over. Which has brought me to this
conclusion: hope is not a feeling. Rather, hope is a decision. And
when we choose to have hope, in spite of how we "feel", our feelings
will follow. Therefore, there are times I choose to have hope despite what my
circumstances look like much less how hopeless I might feel.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #353535; font-family: Tahoma; font-size: 13.0pt;">Each of us we must decide in whom or what we place our
hope. For me, my hope is in the Lord. I see him as loving, kind,
gracious and merciful. He has never let be down and is always with me. So,
I choose hope because of his faithfulness, not because of my circumstances or
my feelings. For me, I know I can count on him working all things out for my
good. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #353535; font-family: Tahoma; font-size: 13.0pt;">If you are feeling hopeless I encourage you to make a decision of
your will to have hope in spite of your feelings or circumstances. Place
your hope in someone or something outside of yourself and your feelings will
follow. I call it the "hope factor"; having hope no matter
what!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #353535; font-family: Tahoma;"><span style="font-size: 17px;"><i><b>"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace!" </b></i></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #353535; font-family: Tahoma;"><span style="font-size: 17px;">Romans 15:13</span></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396075303050089799.post-87954826135821271472012-02-10T10:09:00.000-08:002012-02-10T10:09:29.902-08:00A Lesson Learned<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-weight: normal;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">There's
a morale to this story: So, I was in the locker room after exercising
and in walks a guy that none of us had seen before. He had a sort of
husky build, but you could see the pride in his face. He seemed to be
very pleased with himself after exercising. I suspect that he had
finally decided to get to the gym and start an exercise program...as
happens with many of us. <br /> <br /> Well, after he wa<span class="text_exposed_show">lked
past my buddies and I- we started to laugh hysterically because while
the guy was acting like such a jock etc., little did he know that he
had about a two foot piece of toilet paper hanging out of the waist band
of his sweats! It looked like he had a toilet paper tail! Later we
found out that he had been running on the track...and the toilet paper
was flapping in the wind as he ran!!! <br /> <br /> Morale of the story:
when you decide to move forward in life, make sure you are leaving your
past behind you. It's important to "disconnect" from what has been
holding you back when moving forward! Just sayin'.... :) </span></span></span></h6>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396075303050089799.post-73321801393981773052011-12-07T14:25:00.000-08:002011-12-07T14:26:06.547-08:00"Dating with BP: Getting Back Into the Swing of Things" by Guest Writer Bethany Matthews<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<i><b>Here's a guest blogger's perspective on dating with Bipolar Disorder for all of our single subscribers: </b></i></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Guest Blogger: Bethany Matthews</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">As my readers know, I was diagnosed in my early twenties
with bipolar disorder. It took nearly 10 years to successfully treat it.
However, along the way with new job opportunities and moving to a large
metropolitan area, I couldn’t quite make the effort to get out and meet people,
particularly single men my age. Dating had become more of a chore rather than a
social activity I use to enjoy.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Dating was not new to me as I had plenty of opportunities
and fun times in college. But once the bipolar disorder reared its ugly head, I
had to make recovery the number one priority in my life.<span> </span>When I became more comfortable with its
symptoms and how to manage it, I became more confident with my interactions
with others including single men I was interested in dating.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">But, during those 10 years the medications added some weight
gain and in addition my poor nutritional choices and lack of exercise made me
feel more than a bit frumpy. I still felt attractive to a point, but yet I had
a preconceived idea that since I wasn’t my normal pre-bipolar disorder weight
that I shouldn’t even ask that cute guy at the local coffee shop out to a
movie. My confidence took a nosedive.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">I admit it is tricky at times to be a single
thirty-something woman managing bipolar disorder and dating. Yet, you have to
keep pushing forward. As my counselor told me last spring, “You need to get a
life and start dating.” So, I did. I didn’t want to, but I took that first step
and dated a man during the summer and while he wasn’t “the one” for me, my
confidence returned. I started purchasing trendier clothing and wearing makeup
again, as well as paying attention to details like painted toenails and
highlights. I also started eating healthier and exercising which improved my
mood and decreased the number on the scale.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">What else helped me along the way? Setting some goals and
thinking about what I wanted out of dating.</span></div>
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</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">D – Decide what you want. Casual dating, but nothing
serious? A committed relationship? Looking for a marriage partner? Figure out
your intentions. Write them down if necessary and what you are looking for in a
date/mate.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: small;">
</span><ul style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
<li><span style="font-size: small;">A – Attitude.<span> </span>Keep it
positive. <span> </span>Enough said.<a href="" name="_GoBack"></a></span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: small;">
</span><ul style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
<li><span style="font-size: small;">T – Try new things, but keep the old. Visit new places
together and even try the old standby of a double-date if you are nervous. </span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: small;">
</span><ul style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
<li><span style="font-size: small;">I – Insist on being safe. Don’t give out phone numbers and
other personal information too soon especially if you are meeting someone through
an online dating website.</span></li>
</ul>
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</span><ul style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
<li><span style="font-size: small;">N – Need a break? Feel free to say “no” once in a while. If
you aren’t feeling a “click” by the first few dates with a person don’t feel
guilty by moving on.</span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: small;">
</span><ul style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
<li><span style="font-size: small;">G – God is good. Always. Trust Him. Pray for God’s guidance
and will for your dating and love life. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and
He will direct your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6</span></li>
</ul>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396075303050089799.post-31561809380997533372011-11-18T12:35:00.000-08:002011-11-18T12:35:56.852-08:00Fresh Hope Overcomes the Hopelessness from Mental Health Issues<a href="http://www.prweb.com/releases/2011/11/prweb8959418.htm">Fresh Hope Overcomes the Hopelessness from Mental Health Issues</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396075303050089799.post-59723117568761875082011-08-08T10:20:00.000-07:002011-08-08T10:20:00.304-07:00The Power of Encouragement<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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</style> <![endif]--> <div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Recently I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about the power of encouragement.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When you’re discouraged, frustrated and down there is something extremely powerful when someone comes along side of you and tells you that they “believe in you”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Especially when you don’t believe in yourself, it seems as though someone else “believing in you” to become a direct deposit of hope and confidence into your empty “self-confidence account”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s as though someone encouraging you gives you hope and that hope begins to “leak into” your empty tank!</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Discouragement comes with living.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everyone experiences it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, those of us who have experienced mental health issues seem to be dragged down and held there in the dark abyss of discouragement more easily and longer than the average person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I suspect this happens because any type of ongoing mental health issue strikes right at the heart of one’s self-confidence.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And having self-confidence is a key to “getting back up” after prolonged discouragement.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course, the difficulty with getting back up also is connected to how often one has been “knocked down” as well as the duration of each period of discouragement.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Knowing that someone else is “with you”, “for you”, “believes in you” and “is there for you” breathes “fresh-confidence” into an empty and dried up confidence tank much like a soft gentle rain is to dried up, parched, ground.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Encouragement enables a fragile heart to beat stronger again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Encouragement begins to create new thought patterns in a brain that desperately needs detoxing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Encouragement feeds a hungry soul the hope that God still has a plan.</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">If you are discouraged and some “encouraging-encourager” comes along, let it soak into you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Embrace it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Enjoy it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Savor it. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Build upon it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And be sure to spend as much time as possible with that encourager.</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">An encourager who comes along in your life is a gift from the LORD.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Many times they become like “Jesus with skin on” for you and me.</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">If you know of someone who is discouraged begin to encourage them by your words and actions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Encouragement is an interesting thing; when you give to others you get even more of it yourself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It never ceases to amaze me that when you need encouraging and you encourage others all of a sudden your own “tank” gets filled up.</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">And most of all: be sure to lavishly soak yourself in the encouragement of the LORD through His Word.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In His word He reminds you of His GREAT love for you; His ability to take all things and work them out together for your good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He assures you that He has a plan and a purpose for your life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He also assures you that He will not leave you or forsake you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And through His word His Holy Spirit works within you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you are not able to concentrate when you read His word then listen to Scripture songs and music.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Recently I asked some of my friends on Facebook to tell me what encouragement meant to them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here’s just a few of the responses: </span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Sometime the greatest encouragement I've gotten is when a friend just comes along side me, no words, a hug, and the bond of friendship that needs no spoken words!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Cyndy</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Presence + compassion + support = encouragement.” </span></i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Pastor Mike</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraph"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">“No matter how small it may be, any sign that I am appreciated always encourages me.”</span></i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Karen</span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraph"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Smiles, emails, hugs, calls, and when friends show support and pray for me.” </span></i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Julie</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraph"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Years ago I had a friend call me from the hospital. The doctor had just told her she needed a heart transplant and she had no one to talk to. All the way to the hospital I repeated the same one-line prayer "Lord, give me the words." Months later, after her transplant, my friend called me, again. She wanted to apologize because she could not remember anything I said during that visit but she wanted me to know how much it meant to her that I was there. God taught me a big lesson!”</span></i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kim</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraph"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“We look for lofty words and often say or do things that are not in our character--all out of caring and wanting to encourage that person. But those ‘Barnabas moments’ as I love to call them, come from our presence and that shouldn't surprise us … isn't that just like God? Sometimes at my lowest moments I hear no voice but I feel His presence and I am encouraged and comforted because His presence is ALWAYS with me!”</span></i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cyndy</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraph"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“The Word of God and the Holy Spirit are my greatest source of encouragement. God has all the patience and solutions to my dilemmas.”</span></i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bart</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“If I’m in a worst case scenario mindset, my encourager would not let me stay there. An encourager would help me take responsibility for my thinking and steer me toward more hopeful and uplifting thoughts. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>An encourager would remind me that all thing work together for those who love the Lord.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They would remind me to think on those things that are true and right. An encourager would not let me sit on a pity pot, or allow me to assonate my own character, as I have been prone to do. Also, they would help steer the subject to more hopeful and lovely thoughts after they are sure I feel heard helps. Which keeps me from RUMINATING!”</span></i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Carol</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">How have others encouraged you when you were discouraged?</span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396075303050089799.post-80946803256679523272011-04-11T08:56:00.000-07:002011-04-11T08:56:08.877-07:00Dating with a Mood Disorder 101 by Bethany A. Matthews<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:DocumentProperties> <o:Version>12.00</o:Version> </o:DocumentProperties> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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</style> <![endif]--> <div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Dating with a Mood Disorder 101</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">by Bethany A. Matthews <i>(Bethany is a guest blogger and a member of a Fresh Hope support group in Omaha, Nebraska.)</i></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Back in my college days before I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, I remember my college sweetheart saying that my mood swings and oversleeping were “all in my head.” However, a couple years later (minus the boyfriend) I learned that what I suffered from was a mental illness that could be treated successfully with medication, counseling and self-care.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">As I recovered, I began building a life for myself which included moving out on my own and planning a career. I also started dating again, but fear always won in the end. I didn't want to get hurt. I caught myself wondering. <i>How do I get back in the game? What will my date say when I tell him I have bipolar disorder? Will he know what it is and understand? And, most importantly, when do I tell him?</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">After some trial and error, here is what I learned:</span></i></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Don't sweat it. </span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Dating is nerve-racking enough and there is no reason to let anxiety overwhelm you just because you have a mood disorder. Rest easy and realize that the other person is probably just as nervous. Who knows? Maybe he has a mood disorder, too.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Determining “when” is up to you.</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> There are no hard and fast rules to disclosing your mood disorder. However, honesty is always the best policy. And, the more practice you get at reading people you will learn when the time is right and what words to use.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Take good care of yourself.</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> The more attention and time you devote to your well-being – physical, mental, and spiritual – the better you will feel about yourself. With this comes<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>renewed self-confidence and raised self-esteem.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Choose dating activities you like.</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> It's difficult to get excited and enjoy an activity when depressed. Make sure to take the reigns and give your date input regarding what you like to do so that you will enjoy your time together.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Use the opportunity to educate.</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> Your date may be unaware and know nothing about mental illness. If so, take a moment and explain it. If he is compassionate and understanding, that's wonderful. If he isn't, move on.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Put the brakes on love.</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> If you feel as if you need a break from the dating scene, go ahead and sit it out for awhile, especially if you feel you need some “me” time. You know yourself the best.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; text-indent: -.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Ask for God's guidance. </span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Dating is really about finding a potential lifetime partner. It's one of the biggest decisions you will make in life. Pray for His wisdom and you will be surprised at the blessings He will give you.</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraph"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> Bethany</span></i></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><b><i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Thanks Bethany for a great post for our single readers of the Fresh Hope Blog! </span></i></b></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396075303050089799.post-62274179346943832872011-04-07T09:53:00.000-07:002011-04-07T09:53:00.226-07:00Our New Tenets for Fresh Hope: We'd Love Your Input!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">In recent months we have been working on our tenets for Fresh Hope. We have rewritten them. Below is our final copy. The blue is read by those with a mood disorder and the green print is read by those who are loved ones. The black print is ready by everyone together. Then we usually have one person read the Scripture that follows each of the tenets. </span></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">After an opening prayer we begin each of our meetings with reading the tenets. I'd be very interested to have your feedback...what do you think of them? What stands out to you? </span></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">We'd love to hear from you!</span></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg99IvX9UbGgT4XzABDVCiav3gM7XvaG4Q5qiUEtagWNfwsNjKTeAGWMfsDo_ggVTDpiIiYwjWnF0TCXoVGUthoE7n_D6n6Cpqmz0g-UqLRXOaN4X18KaSfN_5EkN_TqorPzJUkq5zO-OIx/s1600/Fresh+Hope.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="138" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg99IvX9UbGgT4XzABDVCiav3gM7XvaG4Q5qiUEtagWNfwsNjKTeAGWMfsDo_ggVTDpiIiYwjWnF0TCXoVGUthoE7n_D6n6Cpqmz0g-UqLRXOaN4X18KaSfN_5EkN_TqorPzJUkq5zO-OIx/s200/Fresh+Hope.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt;"> Tenets</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;">The tenets for those with <span style="color: #0000cc;">mood disorders are in blue</span></span></i></div><div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;">and the tenets for <span style="color: #009e47;">loved ones are in green</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">TENET I</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="color: #0000cc; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">My life is affected by a mood disorder and can become unmanageable and hopeless, especially if ignored or untreated. Therefore, I choose the help and support of others to overcome the struggles and find more joy in life</span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">.</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="color: #009e47; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">My loved one’s mood disorder has also left me feeling helpless and hopeless. Therefore, I choose the help of others in learning about the disorder and choosing healthy boundaries for myself</span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">.</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Together, we have understanding. We remind each other of the Lord’s love, and that He alone can do all things. He is the source of our hope, and in Him we can overcome all things.</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;">“I can do everything through Him who gives me strength</span></i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;">.<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">”</i> Philippians 4:13 (NIV)</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;">_________</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">TENET II</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="color: #0000cc; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">My mood disorder has also affected my relationships and the lives of those around me. Therefore, I choose to overcome for both my own good, and the good of those who love me.</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="color: #009e47; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I haven’t always responded to my loved one’s mood disorder in ways that were good for the relationship. Therefore, I choose to learn better ways to communicate with, support, and encourage my loved one.</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Together, we commit to speaking the truth in love, healing broken relationships and viewing each other as the Lord views us.</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;">“So let’s pursue those things which bring peace and which are good for each other.”</span></i></div><div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;">Romans 14:19 (God’s Word Translation, 1995)</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;">_________</span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 8pt;"></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">TENET III</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="color: #0000cc; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;">My disorder can become an excuse. Therefore, I choose to believe I can live a full and rich life in spite of my disorder. I choose the support of people who will urge me to “push through”.</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="color: #009e47; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;">At times I don’t understand my loved one and can allow them to either wallow in their excuses, or push them too hard. Therefore I choose to learn healthy, appropriate ways to contribute to my loved one’s recovery.</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;">Together we do better than trying on our own. We will hold one another accountable for learning, growing, and choosing to push through in hope.</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;">“Therefore, encourage one another and build each other up.”</span></i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;"> 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NIV)</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">TENET IV</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="color: #0000cc; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;">My disorder can lead me to feel hopeless. Therefore, I choose to believe, regardless of my feelings, that there is help and hope for my physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual well-being.</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="color: #009e47; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;">At times I also feel hopeless, letting my loved one’s actions and recovery define my happiness. Therefore, I choose to live with healthy emotional boundaries, and choose my own joy despite the ups and downs of my loved one. </span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;">Together we remind each other that our hope and joy come from the Lord. He alone is able to fulfill our needs in every aspect of our lives.</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;">“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you</span></i></div><div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;">and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” </span></i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;">Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;">__________</span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">TENET V</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="color: #0000cc; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;"> While medicine is a key component in my recovery, it is not the only answer. Therefore, I choose to explore new ways of thinking and acting in my relationships and daily living.</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="color: #009e47; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;">I too have been part of the cycle of dysfunctional living, either thinking I had all the answers or thinking the problem didn’t belong to me. Therefore, I choose to submit myself to learning new behaviors and taking responsibility for my own healthy, balanced living.</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;">Together we choose freedom over suffering, and joy in living through self-knowledge in action.</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;">“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”</span></i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;"> II Corinthians 10:5</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;">__________</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">TENET VI</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="color: #0000cc; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;">At times I have allowed myself to become a victim, “defined” by my disorder. Therefore I choose to overcome and live in hope and joy, in spite of my disorder.</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="color: #009e47; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;">At times, I have viewed myself as a victim of my loved one’s behavior and disorder, causing resentment, anger, unforgiveness, or self pity. Therefore, I choose to separate the disorder from the person I love, forgive and let go of the past, and live as a contributor to successful recovery.</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;">Together, we share in each other’s victories and celebrate the whole person.</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;">For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and a sound mind.” </span></i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;">II Timothy 1:7</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;">__________</span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Our purpose is to encourage one another to choose </span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">God’s fresh hope for our daily life and future.</span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;"></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Who we see here remains confidential. What is said here stays here.</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">We don’t judge; nor do we lecture. We listen, we share and we grow.</span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396075303050089799.post-177733242359796992011-02-10T08:35:00.000-08:002011-02-10T08:35:21.062-08:00Needing Your Input<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Greetings to all of you!</span></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Recently we received a grant from the KIM Foundation here in Omaha, Nebraska. The monies from this grant are being used for developing training resources for new Fresh Hope groups. Part of these resources are our group tenets. So, I've been re-working our group tenets as they will serve as the outline for a book/workbook as part of these resources. I'm posting these re-worked tenets in the hopes that you as mental health consumers and loved ones might give me your input. (I'm also in the process of writing tenets for the loved ones/friends of mental health consumers.) </span></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">These group tenets are read at the beginning of every Fresh Hope group meeting. The tenet is read by an individual and the italicized statement following is read by the group. </span></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Please give these tenets a read and let me know what you think. I really appreciate any insight and input that you can offer to make these tenets the best that they can be!</span></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Here they are:</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">GROUP TENETS</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 0.75in; text-indent: -0.5in;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">I.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">My life is affected by a mood disorder and at times has become unmanageable and hopeless. Therefore, I need the support of others to overcome the daily struggles with these issues and find more joy in my life</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">.</span></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; line-height: 115%;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">We need one another- for we are people who understand. Together we remind one another that Lord loves each of us and that He is the source of the hope that I need. He alone can do all things and in Him, we can overcome all things</span></i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">.</span></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.25in;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">“I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13</span></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0.75in; text-indent: -0.5in;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">II.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></b><b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">My mood disorder has not only affected my life but also the lives of those around me; affecting many of my relationships. Therefore, I desire to overcome not only for my own good, but also for the good of those who love me.</span></b></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; line-height: 115%;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">Together we not only help one another in our recovery process but, we also help one another recover broken relationships; making amends where possible.</span></i></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.25in;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0.25in; text-align: center; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">“So let's pursue those things which bring peace and which</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0.25in; text-align: center; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">are good for each other.” Romans 14:19</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0.25in; text-align: center; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">(Translation- God’s Word © 1995)</span></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0.75in; text-indent: -0.5in;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">III.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></b><b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">It is too easy to use my disorder as an excuse for not <i>“pushing through”</i> in my life. Therefore, I need the support of others who believe that there is hope to live a full and rich life in spite of my disorder and who will urge me to “push through”.</span></b></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; line-height: 115%;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">Together we do better than trying to do it on our own; we hold one another accountable for “pushing through” and choosing hope.</span></i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;"></span></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">“Therefore, encourage one another and build each other up.”</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NIV)</span></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0.75in; text-indent: -0.5in;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">IV.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></b><b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">My disorder often leaves me feeling hopeless. Therefore, I choose to believe, in spite of how I might feel, that there is help and hope for my struggle; physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual being.</span></b></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; line-height: 115%;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">Together we hold one another up in hope. We offer hope to each other that God has great plans for our lives and will use all of it for our good; even the pain. In addition, when necessary we give a portion of our hope to those who have no hope.</span></i></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.25in;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: center; text-indent: 0.25in;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: center; text-indent: 0.25in;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)</span></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0.75in; text-indent: -0.5in;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">V.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></b><b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">While medicine is a key component in my recovery, medicine alone does not solve everything. Therefore, I choose to gain insight into thinking differently and doing things differently in my relationships and daily living.</span></b></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 1.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; line-height: 115%;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">Joy in living is possible; self-knowledge in action is the key to freedom from suffering over pain. Therefore, we can choose to gain insight. It’s a choice- an act of our will.</span></i></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">II Corinthians 10:5</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 0.75in; text-indent: -0.5in;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">VI.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></b><b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">Too often, I feel like a failure, discouraged and a victim of my disorder. At times, I have “become” my diagnoses and allowed myself to be defined by it. Therefore, I choose to overcome in spite of my disorder. I choose to be a whole and well-rounded person. I choose to fully live in hope and joy.</span></b></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0.75in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; line-height: 115%;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">Together we encourage one another and celebrate our victories. Together we remind one another that there is so much more to our lives and our beings than our diagnosis. Together we celebrate the whole person.</span></i></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power </span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">and of love and of a sound mind.” </span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;"> II Timothy 1:7</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">____________</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Our purpose is to encourage one another</span></i></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">to choose God’s fresh hope for our daily life and future.</span></i></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Who we see here remains confidential.</span></i></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">What is said here stays here.</span></i></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">We don’t judge; nor do we lecture.</span></i></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">We listen, we share and we grow.</span></i></span></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></div><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
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</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396075303050089799.post-45318526023782979022011-01-18T11:38:00.000-08:002011-01-18T11:38:31.392-08:00David Ignatius: The Loughners among us are often tragically ignored - Omaha.com<a href="http://www.omaha.com/article/20110116/NEWS0802/701169983/-1?sms_ss=blogger&at_xt=4d35ec17cda6dfee%2C1">David Ignatius: The Loughners among us are often tragically ignored - Omaha.com</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396075303050089799.post-431688890108045712010-12-02T12:56:00.000-08:002010-12-02T12:56:16.378-08:00Avoiding the Ups and Downs of the Holidays<i><b>Just thought I would re-post this as a reminder...</b></i><br />
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There’s no doubt that the holiday season is a bit emotional and draining for most people. Whether what they experience is negative or positive, there are ups and downs to the season for everyone. However, for those of us who have mood disorders, this time of year can be especially challenging. Some of us become very melancholy and fight depression and sad feelings. Some of us find ourselves lonely and easily slide into isolation and into a deep depression. Some of us find that the shorter days and lack of sunlight have a significant effect on our mood. And there are some of us who find our mood escalates during this time of the year.<br />
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I happen to be one of those folks whose mood escalates! I love this time of the year. And in years past (prior to diagnosis and medicine) I would literally be worse than a five-year-old strung out on Christmas cookies and sleep deprivation waiting for Santa on Christmas Eve! My mood would be so “up” that I couldn’t sleep for nights prior the church’s upcoming Christmas services. I literally would be over the top with decorations, spending and gift giving. Then when it was time to take down the tree, I would be depressed and irritable. In fact, in thirty years of marriage I do not believe I have ever helped take down the tree! My loving wife knew for years how I hated it and she would just do it when I was away from the house. (I’m thinking that this year it’s time I help!)<br />
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Since being diagnosed as bipolar I’ve come to understand that, along with my medicine, there are some things that I need to do so that my mood does not get out of hand. Paying attention to these 10 things has really helped me through the years. (Plus, I suspect you might have a few ideas that you could add to the list- which I encourage you to do by posting a comment!)<br />
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<i><b>How to survive the ups and downs and flourish through the holidays:</b></i><br />
<b>1. Get plenty of rest.</b><br />
Don’t underestimate the need for sleep and what happens to your mood when you don’t get enough rest! Sleep deprivation greatly affects your mood. In order to be at your emotional best, you must be well rested. When you are sleep deprived you will find yourself limited in your ability to cope with even the littlest things.<br />
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<b>2. If there’s an easier way to do something, do it the easy way.</b><br />
Many of us approach Christmas with an attitude of making it the best that it can be, so we push ourselves to do too many things; then as we do all these things we want them to be “just right.” Somehow we get to thinking that if we don’t do this or that, that Christmas just won’t be the same!<br />
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Instead of doing a LOT of things on your list, choose to do fewer of them and do them the easy way! If you can cook a simpler meal, then do it. If you email your friends instead of sending out a Christmas card, then do it. If you can buy something through the mail or give a gift card, then do it!<br />
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Simplifying things causes less stress on you. Remember- stress agitates mood stabilization.<br />
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Remember that the best Christmas memories happen when people interact with one another. It’s not about a perfectly decorated tree. Rather, it’s about the fun of putting the tree up together!<br />
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<b>3. Adjust your expectations.</b><br />
Recognize that things will not be perfect (or even close to perfect). Those in the group of family and friends that usually irritate you will once again have the chance to “get under your skin.” That uncle or parent or child most likely hasn’t changed since last year. (Unless, of course, they have started to work on their issues or for some reason aren’t on this year’s guest list!)<br />
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Choose to have few to no expectations about Christmas. And when there are those precious moments, those “Kodak moments,” savor them. Then focus on those snap shots that you’ve taken with your memory. Choose not to focus on what went wrong or what was said by whom. It’s impossible to be disappointed by anyone or anything if you have no expectations!<br />
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Besides, the “Kodak moments” of life are not created, they just happen. And if you spend your time focusing on what you are disappointed with, you will miss them!<br />
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<b>4. Plan something special following the holidays that you can look forward to doing.</b><br />
Don’t put all of your “emotional eggs” into one basket. There is life after Christmas. So many of us put so much focus into the holidays that we really don’t think too much about what’s coming in January.<br />
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It seems that most of our society uses the first week of January to simply come out of the Christmas “stupor” and recover. This certainly happens to many people financially. We know that many folks are all too surprised and overwhelmed at how much money they spent during the holidays! That leads me to number five…<br />
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<b>5. Don’t overspend.</b><br />
It’s way too easy to overspend during the holidays. Overspending is especially easy to do if you are charging things. Most of us who are bipolar have definite issues with overspending. My wife and I no longer charge anything for the holidays.<br />
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It’s too easy to spend money you don’t have when you charge things. In fact, when we take cash along for shopping, we spend within our means because we can literally see what we have to spend. I believe the concept of not overspending helps us enjoy Christmas and the New Year more!<br />
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<b>6. Don’t eat too many sweets.</b><br />
Not only is it important to not overdo the sweats because of weight and health, but refined sugar is truly an “enemy” of those who have mood disorders. As all too many of us know, when you eat or drink something sweet you will get a little “sugar rush;” then when the rush is past, you will experience a low. Needless to say, for those of us with mood disorders this can be counterproductive to maintaining a healthy “mood range.”<br />
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It’s more than just a challenge for me to not overdo the sweets! I love them. And on top of that, I love coffee along with my sweets! Caffeine is another one of those “enemies” of mood! My doctor tells me that he could most likely produce a mild mania in someone by giving them enough caffeine. After all, caffeine is a drug.<br />
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<b>7. If your mood “sags” then get out! If your mood “winds up” stay in!</b><br />
We all need some sunlight. In the winter there is less of it. Also, we tend to spend more time inside during the winter. It’s important to spend some time outside taking in a little sunlight. At our house we have moved to full spectrum lighting which helps. If you have access to a tanning bed that does not give off the cancer causing UV rays, consider spending some time tanning this winter. I know in past winters when I have done this, it really helped my mood.<br />
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If you are able to afford it, taking a trip to a place where it is warm can really help break up the long bleak Midwest winters and help your mood.<br />
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If you are one whose mood “sags” during the holiday season; don’t allow yourself to isolate. Keep yourself busy. Plan to do things with others and just “fake it” until you begin to feel your mood lift. Socialization with other people helps your mood improve.<br />
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For those of us who “wind up” during the holidays it can be helpful to stay home and quiet ourselves by doing things around the house. For me, I know that if I start to run a list of errands and do all kinds of shopping, I can easily find myself “winding up” which is not good. During the holidays I also force myself to start doing some work that will need to be done in January and February. For instance, as a pastor I’m already working on Lent and Easter services. It helps me to not put all of my own “emotional eggs” into the Christmas basket.<br />
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<b>8. Don’t isolate.</b><br />
Loneliness is the single most difficult emotion that people deal with during the holidays. If you are going to be alone for the holidays and know that you will struggle with loneliness, then you need to develop a game plan that will enable you to be around people. Consider volunteering at the hospital or a homeless shelter on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. Focus on others. Keep yourself busy. Find others that are also going to be alone and plan a Christmas dinner or a New Year’s Eve party with them. Or if you have a close friend that has family, spend time with them. Just don’t isolate. When we isolate we start to focus on being alone and then we easily ruminate about the sad feelings, causing our mood to slip lower and lower, even to the point of bringing about a depressive episode.<br />
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You might consider doing something that you really enjoy doing the day following a big holiday. For example, on December 26th consider doing something that is a “treat” for you along with some of your friends. It always helps to have something to look forward to.<br />
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<b>9. Be accountable.</b><br />
It’s so important to have a circle of accountability. When you have people that are going to check in on you and you checking in on others you begin to create a circle of accountability. It’s important to have those “check-in points” with others. And it is most helpful when those that check-in on us are also able to talk with the others that check are checking in on us and also have the ability to let our doctor or therapist know what is going on. It makes for a complete circle of accountability around us! And it’s a great way to keep ourselves emotionally safe and stable at all times.<br />
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<b>10. Spend time with the Lord.</b><br />
Spending time with the Lord is the most important thing to do. Spend time in the Word. Spend time in prayer. Spend time with others reading the Word and praying. After all, it’s all about Him. He made you and can very well manage your mood with His Word. However, many times people use this as the excuse to isolate. In other words, they get into the “it’s Jesus and me” kind of thinking, which sounds very spiritual but is not even biblical! (The Bible says that we need one another and are to never forsake the gathering of the Body of Christ in worship, etc.)<br />
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I suppose I could add an eleventh thing, but I believe it’s obvious. Take your medicine! If you suffer from a mood disorder it’s impossible to manage mood without it. You can’t get better without it. And take your medicine just the way that it was prescribed to you. If you don’t think it’s working, then you need to call your doctor and not make a decision about it on your own. Keep your doctor in the loop at all times.<br />
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If you find your mood sagging or escalating and you are not managing it well, you must call your doctor. Let him/her know. They very well might suggest a change in your medicine. Why? Because what you and I struggle with is in fact a physiological health issue. It’s just like diabetes. You need to take care of yourself, but sometimes you need more or less medicine just because of what your body is doing chemically.<br />
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If your brain chemistry is off, then the medicine will stabilize it. Having a mood disorder is NOT a character flaw nor is it a moral issue. It is a physical issue with the brain that affects behavior. And when left un-medicated it keeps us from behaving appropriately to the challenges of life! I choose to look at it this way: if I had diabetes I wouldn’t stop taking my insulin. And I would certainly understand that I could not make my body fix itself by just changing my thinking. The same is true with depression or bipolar disorder. Until you and I understand this and start to help others understand it, there will continue to be the stigma about mental health issues. We need to start with each of us understanding it first.<br />
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This year both of our grown children, their spouses and our two grandchildren will be home for Christmas. We are looking forward to a great Christmas together. And for me to stay on top of managing my mood is a very important part of making it a special time. After all, if Papa’s “out of control” it will be an “out of control” Christmas for everybody!<br />
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<i><b>A peaceful, joy-filled, Spirit-led and mood-stable Christmas because of the stable of Bethlehem to all of you!</b></i>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396075303050089799.post-48870373132645088132010-11-13T08:32:00.000-08:002010-11-13T08:32:34.010-08:00Unlocking the Puzzle of Recovery<i style="color: #444444;"><b>Larry Drain is a fellow blogger who has many many readers! He's also been a friend to me and has shared his insights regarding blogging. Some time ago I asked him to write a piece for us here on the Fresh Hope blog and I'm finally getting it posted. He has some great insights about unlocking the recovery puzzle. Larry works in the mental health field. (Thanks Larry!) I believe his insights will bless you as you press on with recovery:</b></i><br />
<br />
For many of us recovery is a puzzle. The picture on the box seems clear, but the pieces don't fit together so easily.<br />
<br />
I think it is at least three pieces that fit together. They don't stand alone. The boundaries between them are more apparent than real. The presence of one affects the strength of the others. The absence of one makes the other two much harder to access. But when these three pieces fit together recovery has a real chance and better life a reality that can be reached rather than a dream which disappoints. <br />
<ol><li><b>Knowledge- </b>First, and foremost, people need to become experts on themselves, their issues, the challenges they face and the resources available. Recovery means to be in charge of your life, to make the decisions that you wish and to create the possibilities you value. Without knowledge it is like steering a car blindfolded. You will get somewhere, but probably not where you intend. The gathering of knowledge, the development of expertise on yourself is a lifelong process. Life is ever-changing and to be content with what you know is to become the victim of what you don't know. </li>
<li><b>Experience- </b>Experiencing some improvement makes it more likely you continue to show other improvement. As an academic exercise recovery soon becomes boring and overwhelming. As a personal experience it is something you buy into and find out you have a large hunger to continue to do what you need to do to have more life. You must act on what you know and it slowly becomes a momentum building process. Practice doesn't make perfect. It makes different.</li>
<li><b>Support- </b>Person after person has told me the most important thing for them has been to see others with similar issues prosper. Seeing that it can be done, even when you are not sure of exactly how is so important. Having enduring relationships with others that have a stake in life becoming better for you is a value beyond measure. Recovery is not something you do to. It is something you do with.</li>
</ol>3 small things, but taken together, each feeding into the other recovery can become real to you and life can once again become something you had long ago forgotten it could be.<br />
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<br clear="all" /><br />
-- <br />
Larry and Linda Drain<br />
<a href="http://www.hopeworkscommunity.wordpress.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.hopeworkscommunity.wordpress.com</a><br />
<a href="http://www.health.groups.yahoo.com/group/hopeworkscommunity" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.health.groups.yahoo.com/group/hopeworkscommunity</a><br />
<a href="http://www.hopeworkscommunity.ning.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.hopeworkscommunity.ning.com</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396075303050089799.post-9900528190864794482010-10-20T12:52:00.000-07:002010-10-20T12:52:32.584-07:00Facts on Mental Illness from a NAMI Volunteer<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:DocumentProperties> <o:Version>12.00</o:Version> </o:DocumentProperties> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><i><b>Recently I spoke at a "Stop the Stigma" seminar in Des Moines, Iowa and Teresa shared these facts and insights about mental illness. She did a great job with them! So, I asked her for permission to share them with all of you. They are sobering facts and statistics and so important to understand. NAMI is a great organization and has helped many families and individuals. If you are not familiar with your local chapter of NAMI I encourage you to check it out and become a member.</b></i> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">My name is Teresa and I am a volunteer for NAMI - the National Alliance on Mental Illness of Greater Des Moines. </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">I am the parent of two adult children with serious mental illness.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Mental illness typically strikes young people between the ages of 15 and 25 – a time when they are trying to establish their independence, searching for a career, looking for a marital partner, and establishing themselves as an adult.<span> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">One half of all lifetime cases of mental illness begin by age 14, three-quarters by age 24.<span> </span>Despite effective treatments, there are long delays – sometimes decades – between the first onset of symptoms and when people seek and receive treatment.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Approximately 12 years ago, my daughter was 15 and my son was 25.<span> </span>They each had their break with reality within 30 days of each other.<span> </span>My son was in military service and my daughter was just entering her sophomore year in high school.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">We all experienced a profound sense of loss when the diagnosis of a serious mental illness was made, one which others find difficult to understand, since it is an illness that is stigmatized and one for which many <u>mistakenly</u> believe there is no hope for recovery. </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Mental illness struck our family full force in the face.<span> </span>It was a turning point for our family.<span> </span>No more assuming everyone had good health.<span> </span>No more assurance of what the future would bring. In the beginning, you are in a state of shock, feel completely overwhelmed, and isolated.<span> </span>You lose your center of gravity.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">As a parent you wonder where things went wrong – why did this happen to my kids – how can I fix it – how can I help them to get better – how can I protect them from a world that may not appreciate them as human beings and will too often be cruel, uncaring, and sarcastic.<span> </span>Will there be other people who will still embrace them and love them and not blame them for their illness?<span> </span>Who’s going to tell me what to do next?</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;"><u><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The first 5 years</span></u><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> were very difficult for all of us – weathering the ups and downs, searching for the right medications, waiting for an accurate diagnosis, finding understanding medical professionals, coming to terms with the fact they would need to manage their illnesses for the rest of their lives, and <u>rediscovering their lives could have meaning</u>.<span> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">So they each received the label of a mental illness – another name for a serious brain disorder, a biological disease of the brain, a medical illness.<span> </span>The label of a mental illness doesn’t define them – never has, never will.<span> </span></span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">– <u>I admire my children’s courage to face down this illness and to manage it</u>. We know this is an illness without blame.<span> </span>We know this illness is a flaw in brain chemistry, not character.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">If your family is also living with mental illness, please realize <b><span style="color: #0000cc;">you are not alone</span></b></span><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">.<span> </span>This is an equal opportunity disease.<span> </span>Mental illness strikes families from all walks of life regardless of age, race, income, religion, or education.<span> </span>1 out of 4 families is affected by mental illness in their lifetime.<span> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">20% of the population lives with mild or moderate cases of mental illness.<span> </span>6% of the population lives with severe mental illness.<span> </span>Many have co-occurring mental health and addiction disorders or other medical conditions.<span> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><u><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The President’s New Freedom Commission Report on Mental Illness</span></u><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> stated:</span></span></div><ul><li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #0000cc; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Mental disability is not a scandal – it is an illness, it is treatable, especially when treatment comes early.</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #0000cc; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The Commission’s findings confirm that there are unmet needs and that many barriers impede care for people with mental illnesses.<span> </span></span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #0000cc; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Mental illnesses are shockingly common, they affect almost every American family at some time in their life. </span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #0000cc; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">It can happen to a child, a sibling, a grandparent, a co-worker.<span> </span></span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #0000cc; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">It can happen to someone from any racial or ethnic background.</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #0000cc; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">It can occur at any stage of life, from childhood to old age.</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #0000cc; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">No community is unaffected by mental illnesses; no school or workplace is untouched</span><span style="color: #0000cc;">.</span></span></li>
</ul><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">When treatment is <u>not sought</u>, the cost can be unbearably high.</span></span></div><ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc"><li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Over 50% of students with a mental disorder age 14 and older drop out of high school – the highest drop-out rate of any disability group.<span> </span></span></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">70% of youth in juvenile justice systems have at least 1 mental disorder with at least 20% experiencing significant functional impairment from a serious mental illness</span></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Job stability is difficult to maintain.<span> </span>Poverty and homelessness are not unusual.<span> </span>Relationships suffer.</span></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Delays in treatment can lead to complicating factors of substance abuse and other health conditions.<span> </span></span></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">A report recently completed by the Treatment Advocacy Center and the National Sheriff’s Association states that in the United States there are now more than 3 times more seriously mentally ill person in jails and prisons than in hospitals.</span></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Because of poor overall health care, statistics show that persons with severe mental illness live on average 25 years less than the general population.</span></span></li>
</ul><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><u><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Out-dated beliefs and mis-information – or the lack of information</span></u><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> – have created an aura of fear</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">and that fear has fueled a cruel stigma that is devastating to the ill person and to their families and friends.<span> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The stigma of having a mental illness prevents many from seeking help.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">So to me - the <b><span style="color: #0000cc;">most shocking thing about mental illness is how little people know about it.</span></b></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Did you know </span></b><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">mental illness is more common than cancer, diabetes, and heart disease<b>?</b></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Did you know </span></b><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">the treatment success rate for mental illness is 70-90%?<span> </span>This is a better success rate than for heart disease – which is 41-52%.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">There is the myth that “positive mental attitudes can prevent mental illness”.<span> </span>Has a positive mental attitude ever prevented a brain tumor?<span> </span>Epilepsy?<span> </span>Parkinson’s?<span> </span>They are brain disorders, too.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">There is the myth that if you only “tried harder” or prayed long enough or had sufficient faith, you can overcome a severe mental illness.<span> </span>This further reinforces to the ill person what a failure<span style="color: #0000cc;"> </span>they are for having a mental illness.<span> </span>It further internalizes the myth that only the weak would fall victim to such an illness.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Persons have been stigmatized by a false association between violence and mental illness that has been promoted by the news and entertainment media.<span> </span>In fact, most persons with mental illness never behave violently, and the vast majority of those people who do behave violently are not mentally ill.<span> </span>Research shows that people with mental illness are much more likely to be victims than perpetrators of violent crime <i>(2.6X more likely to be a victim than the general population).</i></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">There is the myth that separates serious mental illnesses from the physical illness category.<span> </span>This is tragic.<span> </span>This split fuels the fires of denial, inhibits treatment and promotes discrimination in insurance coverage, housing, employment and access to services.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The first time the Surgeon General addressed mental health was 1999 – just over 10 years ago.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">In the 1999 report, the Surgeon General said:</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #0000cc; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">“Our society no longer can afford to view mental health as separate and unequal to general health.<span> </span>It is a <u><b>misconception</b></u> that mental health or mental illness is unrelated to physical health or physical illness.<span> </span>In fact, <b><u>the two are inseparable</u></b>.”</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">If you have a vision disorder, the organs of the body affected are the eyes. </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">If you have a hearing disorder and are deaf, organs of the human body affected are the ears.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The pancreas is an organ of the body.<span> </span>A disorder of the pancreas is called diabetes. </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Mental illnesses are brain disorders.<span> </span>They are not defects in someone’s personality or a sign of poor moral character or lack of faith.<span> </span>They certainly do not mean that the ill person is a failure.<span> </span>Chemical imbalances in the brain, from unknown or incompletely known causes, are much of the reason for symptoms of mental illnesses.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Mental illnesses are like other organ diseases in which body chemistry changes.<span> </span>The abnormal chemistry of mental illnesses affects brain function the same way that too little or too much of other body chemicals damage the heart, kidneys or liver.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span> </span>A heart attack is a symptom of serious heart disease, just as hearing voices, mood swings, withdrawal from social activities, or feeling out of control are common symptoms of a mental illness.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">There are many points on the continuum of wellness, and different degrees of recovery that can be reached with medication, therapy, and a <u>strong support system</u>.<span> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">Mental illnesses might more appropriately be called – </span></span></div><ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc"><li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">A neurological brain disorder</span></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">A brain disease</span></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">A physical illness</span></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">A<span> </span>medical illness</span></span></li>
</ul><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><u><span style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">An irreversible consequence of mental illness is suicide</span></u><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">In America more than 34,000 Americans die by suicide each year, outnumbering homicide deaths by almost 2 to 1.<span> </span>If 34,000 Americans had died by any other tragedy or any other disease – it would be considered a public health crisis.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Suicide is the <span style="color: #0000cc;">third </span>leading cause of death for people ages <span style="color: #0000cc;">10-24</span> years.<span> </span>Every month 330 young people complete suicide – that’s like a jumbo jetliner crashing every month.<span> </span>More than 90% of those who die by suicide have a diagnosable mental disorder.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Suicide rates have increased in the military.<span> </span>From 2005 to 2009, more than 1100 <u>active duty service members</u> committed suicide – an average of 1 suicide every 36 hours.<span> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The Marine's suicide rate has more than doubled over the last three years, surpassing the Army's as the worst in the military.</span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br clear="all" /> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Male <u>veterans</u> are twice as likely to die by suicide as compared with their civilian peers in the general US population.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">In Iowa, an average of 328 Iowans (nearly 1 every day) have died of suicide each year since 2001.<span> </span>The number of homicides averages 50 per year in comparison.<span> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">In Polk County last year, there were 72 suicide deaths (more than 1 every week)</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><u><span style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">We have inadequate community services and a fragmented mental health system</span></u><u><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"></span></u></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">We have huge gaps in the mental health workforce, treatment beds and services of all types, and funding.<span> </span></span><u><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"></span></u></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Except for metropolitan areas, the entire state of Iowa is in a mental health workforce shortage area.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Without an adequate workforce, you can’t have adequate availability of services.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Iowa is 47<sup>th</sup> in the nation for the number of psychiatrists</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Iowa is 46<sup>th</sup> in the nation for the number of psychologists</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Iowa is in the bottom 5 states for number of inpatient hospital beds.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><u><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The population of Iowa is around 3,000,000 – as mentioned before 6% of a population will have serious mental illness – that means there are approximately 180,000 persons with serious mental illness in Iowa</span></u><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">.<span> </span>We have an inadequate workforce across many professional levels.<span> </span>The most striking is the number of psychiatrists – there are around 140 psychiatrists in private practice for the whole state for those 180,000 people. Statewide there are around 650 beds for the needs of those 180,000 persons with serious mental illness.<span> </span>Those beds are full every day, 365 days of the year and people are being turned away.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">In the Polk County area there is a population of around 400,000 people.<span> </span>With 6% of any population group having severe mental illness – in Polk County that means around 24,000 people.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">There are approximately 100 acute care beds for the needs of those 24,000 people in the Des Moines area between Iowa Lutheran, Mercy Franklin, and Broadlawns hospitals.</span><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Most people don’t know where to call if they need help – there is no one door to walk through or one phone number to reach services.<span> </span>Services are provided based on multiple program guidelines rather than what an individual needs are.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><u><span style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">There is inadequate funding for a mental health system</span></u></span></div><div class="Default"><span style="font-size: small;"><span>Polk County is barred by state law (as are all other 98 counties) to raise additional funds for mental health services. County dollars are frozen at 1996 dollar levels. This inability to raise additional funds results in a lengthy waiting list for services.</span></span></div><div class="Default"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Polk County has a waiting list of 650 and growing for disability services – 450 of those have mental illness – half of those are at risk of homelessness or hospitalization.<span> </span>Over 5000 disabled are on state waiting lists to receive waiver services – services in their home.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The state legislature promised to take care of funding any growth in the mental health system when they froze the county’s ability to fund mental health services in 1996. They have not lived up to that promise. </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">There has been inadequate funding for disability services to eliminate waiting lists and provide for a continuum of care.<span> </span>Budgets have been slashed, staff lost, beds closed, inadequate services, workforce shortages and open access to mental health medications are scheduled to be revoked in the Medicaid program.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">There has not been the public outcry to fund an adequate system.<span> </span>Instead, persons with mental illness are being thrown away into a much more expensive alternative – one with much poorer outcomes for everyone involved. </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><u><span style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Too often, people receive punishment instead of treatment when in need of assistance</span></u><u><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"></span></u></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Jail and prisons have become de facto mental hospitals.<span> </span>They are not structurally appropriate for patients, and the staffs are not recruited or trained as psychiatric caretakers.<span> </span></span><span lang="EN-GB" style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">We build prisons instead of recovery centers.<span> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The Iowa Dept. of Corrections has publicly stated 3500 of 8500 inmates have a diagnosable mental illness or around 40%.<span> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">In historical perspective, we have returned to the early nineteenth century, when mentally ill persons filled our jails and prisons.<span> </span>In the 1840’s, a reform movement, sparked by Dorothea Dix, led to more humane treatment of mentally ill persons.<span> </span>As a result of Dorothea’s efforts, for over a hundred years, mentally ill individuals were treated in hospitals.<span> </span>We have now returned to the conditions of the 1840’s by putting large numbers of mentally ill persons back into jails and prisons.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">We advocate for more assisted outpatient treatment, jail diversion programs, mental health courts, and re-entry programming to divert persons into treatment.<span> </span>Investment needs to be made in housing and supported employment programs as well.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><u><span style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">To put all this information in perspective</span></u><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> – </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Simply put, treatment works, if you can get it.<span> </span>But in America today, it is clear that many people living with mental illness are not provided with the essential treatment they need.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I’d like to end with a meditation which was composed by one of our Board members.<span> </span>It is a meditation for “Those Living With Mental Illness”</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">When I think about the unfairness of my mental illness</span></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">may I also find</span></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">the courage to reach out to others,</span></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span> </span>the memory to recall I am not my illness,</span></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span> </span>the patience to realize that difficult times pass,</span></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span> </span>the wonder of the world of which I am a part,</span></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span> </span>the joy in the simplest of things,</span></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span> </span>the satisfaction in doing a random act of kindness,</span></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span> </span>the gratification in completing a goal, however small,</span></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span> </span>the energy that comes with laughter.</span></i></span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396075303050089799.post-60406899619124480592010-09-20T13:42:00.000-07:002010-09-20T13:42:47.141-07:00Never Give Up! Never!<div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">You may have recently experienced a set back in your recovery. Setbacks can be both discouraging and require time for repair of trust, reconciling relationships and recovering what was lost during the setback. And this takes time. It's at times like this that many times we want to quit; to give up. If you are going through such a time please hear me clearly: never give up! Never, never give up! Never, every give up!</div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">During some of my darkest days which came about as a result of a relapse that I suffered about eight years ago a dear friend of mine gave me the following poem that encouaged me greatly! Just wanted to pass it along to you in this post for any of you who might be feeling like you want to quit:</div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
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</style> <![endif]--> <div class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif";">When things go wrong as they sometimes will,<br />
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,<br />
When the funds are low and the debts are high,<br />
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh.<br />
<br />
When care is pressing you down a bit,<br />
Rest, if you must, but don't you quit.<br />
<br />
Life is strange with its twists and turns,<br />
As every one of us sometimes learns,<br />
And many a failure turns about,<br />
When you might have won had you stuck it out.<br />
<br />
Don't give up though the pace seems slow,<br />
You may succeed with another blow.<br />
<br />
Success is failure turned inside out,<br />
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,<br />
And you never can tell how close you are,<br />
It may be near when it seems so far;<br />
<br />
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit,<br />
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit!</span></i></div><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Author Unknown</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Don't quit! The best is yet to come! </span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396075303050089799.post-11250083956978129212010-04-09T09:41:00.000-07:002010-04-09T09:48:20.381-07:00Learning Hard Lessons on Helping OthersRecently I’ve said that I was going to hang a sign outside my office that would say, <em<strong>>“If you really don’t want to deal with your issues please don’t come in here and talk about them.”</</strong>em> It’s most likely because I like to think I’m a problem solver. <em>(However, I suspect some might say I’m a problem maker-which a whole other post…lol.) </em>It might be because I’m a man. And it certainly could be <em>(probably is)</em> because I’ve struggled with codependency issues throughout my life. But, recently I’ve been learning that you can’t rescue people who just aren’t ready or don’t want to be rescued. You can’t help people who aren’t really ready for to help. And even though I speak the truth in love to them; it becomes <em>“poisonous truth”</em> when they are not ready to listen. And I’m also learning that at times as a true friend I have to offer tough love. It’s a process.
<br />
<br />It’s been painful for me. But, I’m starting to understand. I certainly have a long ways to go in <em>“getting it”</em>. And I’ve have to come to terms with the fact that just because someone might share their struggles and pain with me it does not mean they are ready to deal with those things.
<br />
<br />Just because someone comes to me to talk about their pain or the difficulty of their situation, it does not mean that they really want to or are ready to get better. Therefore, I should avoid the <em>“rescue mode”</em> and listen and help only as they allow me to help. Unless they are in a situation where they are possibly at risk of being hurt, hurting someone else or hurting themselves my job is not to <em>“rescue”</em> or intervene.
<br />
<br />I’m learning that for me it’s not emotionally healthy to <em>“rescue”</em> and that my drive to do so comes from my own experience. See, I was a person who desperately needed help but feared help because I was so scared of what might be found and feared what it would mean. I so feared my own pain that I just wanted others to listen; help only if I didn’t have to experience any pain. I wanted others to know I was not a bad person but, each time they would start to touch my pain or get to the bottom of some things I really needed to come to terms with about myself I would <em>“cut them out of my life”</em>. I honestly believed that those who had tried to help were actually hurting me! What I regret is that out of my own fear and rejection of help—the bottom I had to reach was very deep and caused much pain to others and myself. I was a stubborn man. <em>(Today I know that those who speak truth in love to me are those who really care and I need in my life!</em>) Truth is, prior to my hitting bottom, no matter what anyone would have done or tried, I had to hit bottom. As much as I might feel driven to help others avoid a painful bottom by intervening <em>(even to shove them out of their burning building)</em> it’s not my job.
<br />
<br />While all of this is true, there simply are some relationships that have ended in my life not because of me or even my desire to rescue them, but because they so much don’t want to get better that when there’s a little emotional health around them they have to run and get away. I’m starting to get it: it’s really not all about me! I’m starting to understand that it’s not my job to rescue unless intervention for the right reasons is needed. I’m starting to understand that I can’t save anyone from the pain they’ve experienced or even the pain that they are causing themselves! And I’m learning that it’s not my job to rescue, that’s the Lord’s job! More than anything I’m learning how incredible it is when people really do want help and allow someone to help them. WOW! It’s amazing what can happen when someone allows the truth, in love, to be spoken and it’s received.
<br />
<br />What’s been your experience in helping others? What are you learning? When you needed help what was it that others did or didn’t do that was the most helpful to you?
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mso-add-space:auto; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} .MsoChpDefault {mso-style-type:export-only; mso-default-props:yes; font-size:10.0pt; mso-ansi-font-size:10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size:10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.0in 1.0in 1.0in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} /* List Definitions */ @list l0 {mso-list-id:1586917462; mso-list-type:hybrid; mso-list-template-ids:90445288 67698703 67698713 67698715 67698703 67698713 67698715 67698703 67698713 67698715;} @list l0:level1 {mso-level-tab-stop:none; mso-level-number-position:left; text-indent:-.25in;} ol {margin-bottom:0in;} ul {margin-bottom:0in;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal">A special thank you to Larry Drain, of the <a href="http://hopeworkscommunity.wordpress.com/">Hopeworks Community Blog</a> for asking me to write a blog post especially for a special series of posts he ran called “Voices of Recovery”. <span style=""> </span>Larry asked several recovery bloggers to write guest -posts for his blog which he has been putting up over the last few days. <span style=""> </span>I thought I would share here on the Fresh Hope blog what I wrote for the special post on <a href="http://hopeworkscommunity.wordpress.com/">Hopeworks Community Blog</a></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><i style="">Here it is:<o:p></o:p></i></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal">He showed up in the middle of the afternoon, sat down on the couch, and began to read from the notes he had taken from sermons preached by his pastor.<span style=""> </span>He was reading words that had brought him hope out loud to the very man who had preached those words.<span style=""> </span>The pastor sat there expressionless and numb; hardly able to hear him.<span style=""> </span>I know.<span style=""> </span>I was that pastor. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">For the first time in my life I was experiencing the sharp daggers of depression. <span style=""> </span>The pain was screaming so loud I couldn’t hear what he was reading.<span style=""> </span>Not only did I have no hope, I wanted out of the pain and suicide seemed like the only way.<span style=""> </span>Days were long and nights were even longer.<span style=""> </span>Despair was a close friend.<span style=""> </span>I had fallen into a deep hole—bottomless—that seemed to have come straight from the pits of hell. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">That day was fifteen years ago.<span style=""> </span>It’s been a long and at times a very slow journey since then.<span style=""> </span>I’m thankful to have experienced all the pain and difficulties because today my life has more meaning and hope than ever before.<span style=""> </span>Yet I never want to have to walk through that kind of pain again!</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Fifteen years ago I was a pastor in a large growing dynamic church.<span style=""> </span>My whole life was wrapped in and around that role.<span style=""> </span>I was driven to do; to succeed; to conquer.<span style=""> </span>Truth be told, the church was my idol. My relationship with the Lord was one of necessity so I could worship my idol and find my worth in my accomplishments.<span style=""> </span>The church had grown from 800 to thousands in worship on Sunday mornings.<span style=""> </span>While those close to me knew I could be demanding and hurtful, and had a long line of broken relationships behind me, they were most likely too afraid to say a word about it.<span style=""> </span>By the time I crashed and burned I had most everyone around me convinced that they needed help, not me.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I had cried out to the Lord over and over to help me.<span style=""> </span>The faster the church grew the more my private life reeled out of control.<span style=""> </span>I felt like I had a monster inside of me that I couldn’t control anymore. On a Monday night in early May 1995 the Lord answered my prayer for help.<span style=""> </span>Because He loves me He allowed me to feel the consequences of my out-of-control actions and risk-taking behaviors during an extended manic episode which ended in a very public humiliating way.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Now the pastor who had preached forgiveness, mercy and grace, desperately needed it himself.<span style=""> </span>I needed hope.<span style=""> </span>Hope was awfully hard to find in those initial days.<span style=""> </span>However, there was a small group of people who understood that the accusations I faced were a result of being bipolar. The diagnosis that came some four months later was not an excuse for any of my crazy behaviors. <span style=""> </span>Instead it was the explanation for them.<span style=""> </span>Today I am a joyful and healthy pastor of the church started by that small group of people.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">There were those at the time who said my career was over and that I was no longer fit for ministry. However, going through that pain and hurt makes me a much better pastor today than ever before.<span style=""> </span>Today I am able to comfort others with the comfort that I experienced in those days so many years ago.<span style=""> </span>There are so many things that I have learned about recovery and faith.<span style=""> </span>Here are just a few of those things:</p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style=""><span style="">1.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Having a mental disorder is not a moral issue nor is it a faith issue.<span style=""> </span>It’s a physiological issue.</p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style=""><span style="">2.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Since we are both body and spirit (the brain is part of the body- its organic) the best way to minister to our spirit and our mind is to read or listen to the word of God.<span style=""> </span>I found in my deepest depression that simple music taken directly from the Scriptures seemed to sooth my soul.<span style=""> </span>I listened to the same songs for months.<span style=""> </span>Because concentration was such work hearing the songs over and over helped my spirit, mind and soul to absorb them.</p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style=""><span style="">3.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->The book of Psalms is a storehouse of truth and hope.<span style=""> </span>Psalms like 23, 37, 42 etc. gave me great hope!<span style=""> </span>It sure helped me to know that David most likely faced some pretty significant depression himself. </p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style=""><span style="">4.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Mental illness affects our actions and behavior.<span style=""> </span>Sometimes those actions are inappropriate and may even be sinful.<span style=""> </span>But, those actions and behaviors are symptoms of the illness.<span style=""> </span>Many of the things that many of us have done over the years were not choices that we made so much as the results of messed up brain chemistry.<span style=""> </span>However, I’m still responsible for my actions and behaviors.</p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style=""><span style="">5.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Never ever stop.<span style=""> </span>The Bible is full of this kind of encouragement.<span style=""> </span>When you are going through hell, don’t stop!<span style=""> </span>Or you end up there!<span style=""> </span>When you are catching hell, don’t hold it.<span style=""> </span>The only time it’s over is if you quit.<span style=""> </span>When you fall, get back up; that’s what the Psalmist says.</p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style=""><span style="">6.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Choose to forgive (which of course is a process) those who have hurt you because they don’t “get it”.<span style=""> </span>However, if they continue to hurt you they are not safe people and it’s OK to end the relationship.<span style=""> </span>There’s nothing unchristian about that.</p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style=""><span style="">7.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Just as there are people who are not safe, there are churches and pastors that are not safe.<span style=""> </span>If a church doesn’t recognize mental health as a health issue but as a spiritual issue—run!<span style=""> </span>There are toxic churches and toxic leaders.<span style=""> </span>Recovery is hard enough.<span style=""> </span>You don’t need it to be harder within the very place that is to be a safe place of support.</p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style=""><span style="">8.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Watch out for “shame-based-grace” within the church.<span style=""> </span>You’ll find it in any and all demonstrations and non-denominations.<span style=""> </span>Jesus forgives.<span style=""> </span>He offers grace.<span style=""> </span>And He NEVER adds a “but” after he forgives.<span style=""> </span>If you hearing things like, “Oh yes, of course you are forgiven.<span style=""> </span>And yes, we love you. But…” watch out.<span style=""> </span>A lot of people in the Christian church have a much distorted view of God’s grace and forgiveness based on a performance orientation in their lives.</p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style=""><span style="">9.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Never forget how much God loves you!<span style=""> </span>He loves you.<span style=""> </span>He won’t leave you.<span style=""> </span>He’s for you.<span style=""> </span>And with Him for you—who can be against you?<span style=""> </span>No one!<span style=""> </span>Not even yourself!!!<span style=""> </span>You may not always feel like these things are true.<span style=""> </span>Don’t confuse that which is true with that which you feel.<span style=""> </span>Faith is based on truth not feelings.<span style=""> </span>Let God love you.<span style=""> </span>I’m convinced that the hardest thing that most of us have to do is to “let” God love us.</p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style=""><span style="">10.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Laugh at yourself.<span style=""> </span>Take yourself less seriously.<span style=""> </span>Laughter is a great gift from the Lord and sometimes I look in the mirror and think, “Oh Lord, what a sense of humor you have!”<span style=""> </span>I’m convinced we need to laugh and be hugged more!</p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style=""><span style="">11.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Stay away from Christians who act as though they have it all together.<span style=""> </span>No one has it all together. We are all in process.<span style=""> </span>No one has “arrived”.<span style=""> </span>No one gets to cast the first stone.<span style=""> </span>It’s too easy to feel like we are second class citizens in the body of Christ. But, we are not!<span style=""> </span>In fact, we are all a bunch of beggars telling other beggars where to find the food.</p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style=""><span style="">12.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Know that people’s opinions are like belly buttons—everyone has got one!<span style=""> </span>Really the only opinions that matter are the opinions of those who love us and most importantly what the Lord has to say about us!<span style=""> </span>And He has only good things to say about you through and because of His Son!</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span></p> Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396075303050089799.post-59585335145170545952009-12-09T18:36:00.000-08:002010-12-02T12:46:26.863-08:00Surviving the Ups and Downs of the Holidays<link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CBrad%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CBrad%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx" rel="themeData"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CBrad%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml" rel="colorSchemeMapping"></link><style>
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<div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: ";"><i><b>Just thought I would re-post this as a reminder...</b></i></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: ";">There’s no doubt that the holiday season is a bit emotional and draining for most people. Whether what they experience is negative or positive, there are ups and downs to the season for everyone. However, for those of us who have mood disorders, this time of year can be especially challenging. Some of us become very melancholy and fight depression and sad feelings. Some of us find ourselves lonely and easily slide into isolation and into a deep depression. Some of us find that the shorter days and lack of sunlight have a significant effect on our mood. And there are some of us who find our mood escalates during this time of the year.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
<span style="font-family: ";"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: ";"><o:p></o:p>I happen to be one of those folks whose mood escalates! I love this time of the year. And in years past <i>(prior to diagnosis and medicine)</i> I would literally be worse than a five-year-old strung out on Christmas cookies and sleep deprivation waiting for Santa on Christmas Eve! My mood would be so “up” that I couldn’t sleep for nights prior the church’s upcoming Christmas services. I literally would be over the top with decorations, spending and gift giving. Then when it was time to take down the tree, I would be depressed and irritable. In fact, in thirty years of marriage I do not believe I have ever helped take down the tree! My loving wife knew for years how I hated it and she would just do it when I was away from the house. (I’m thinking that this year it’s time I help!)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><br />
<span style="font-family: ";"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><span style="font-family: ";"><o:p></o:p>Since being diagnosed as bipolar I’ve come to understand that, along with my medicine, there are some things that I need to do so that my mood does not get out of hand. Paying attention to these 10 things has really helped me through the years. (Plus, I suspect you might have a few ideas that you could add to the list- which I encourage you to do by posting a comment!)<o:p></o:p></span><b><i><span style="font-family: ";"> <br />
</span></i></b></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing"><b><i><span style="font-family: ";"> <br />
</span></i></b></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><b><i><span style="font-family: ";">How to survive and flourish through the holidays:<o:p></o:p></span></i></b><span style="font-family: ";"></span><b><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"> <br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><b><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"> <br />
</span></b></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><b><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;">1.<span style="font-family: "; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span></b><b><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;">Get plenty of rest.<o:p></o:p></span></b><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><br />
<span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p>Don’t underestimate the need for sleep and what happens to your mood when you don’t get enough rest! Sleep deprivation greatly affects your mood. In order to be at your emotional best, you must be well rested. When you are sleep deprived you will find yourself limited in your ability to cope with even the littlest things.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><br />
<span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"></span><b><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;">2.<span style="font-family: "; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span></b><b><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;">If there’s an easier way to do something, do it the easy way.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;">Many of us approach Christmas with an attitude of making it the best that it can be, so we push ourselves to do too many things; then as we do all these things we want them to be “just right.” Somehow we get to thinking that if we don’t do this or that, that Christmas just won’t be the same!<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><br />
<span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p>Instead of doing a LOT of things on your list, choose to do fewer of them and do them the easy way! If you can cook a simpler meal, then do it. If you email your friends instead of sending out a Christmas card, then do it. If you can buy something through the mail or give a gift card, then do it!</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><br />
<span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p>Simplifying things causes less stress on you. Remember- stress agitates mood stabilization.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><br />
<span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p>Remember that the best Christmas memories happen when people interact with one another. It’s not about a perfectly decorated tree. Rather, it’s about the fun of putting the tree up together!<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><br />
<span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span><b><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;">3.<span style="font-family: "; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span></b><b><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;">Adjust your expectations.<o:p></o:p></span></b><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><br />
<span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p>Recognize that things will not be perfect (or even close to perfect). Those in the group of family and friends that usually irritate you will once again have the chance to “get under your skin.” That uncle or parent or child most likely hasn’t changed since last year. (Unless, of course, they have started to work on their issues or for some reason aren’t on this year’s guest list!</span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; line-height: 115%;"></span><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;">)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><br />
<span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p>Choose to have few to no expectations about Christmas. And when there are those precious moments, those “Kodak moments,” savor them. Then focus on those snap shots that you’ve taken with your memory. Choose not to focus on what went wrong or what was said by whom. It’s impossible to be disappointed by anyone or anything if you have no expectations!<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><br />
<span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p>Besides, the “Kodak moments” of life are not created, they just happen. And if you spend your time focusing on what you are disappointed with, you will miss them!<o:p></o:p></span><b><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"> <br />
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</span></b></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><b><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;">4.<span style="font-family: "; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span></b><b><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;">Plan something special following the holidays that you can look forward to doing.<o:p></o:p></span></b><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><br />
<span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p>Don’t put all of your “emotional eggs” into one basket. There <b><i>is</i></b> life after Christmas. So many of us put so much focus into the holidays that we really don’t think too much about what’s coming in January.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><br />
<span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p>It seems that most of our society uses the first week of January to simply come out of the Christmas “stupor” and recover. This certainly happens to many people financially. We know that many folks are all too surprised and overwhelmed at how much money they spent during the holidays! That leads me to number five…<o:p></o:p></span><b><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"> <br />
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</span></b></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><b><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;">5.<span style="font-family: "; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span></b><b><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;">Don’t overspend.<o:p></o:p></span></b><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><br />
<span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p>It’s way too easy to overspend during the holidays. Overspending is especially easy to do if you are charging things. Most of us who are bipolar have definite issues with overspending. My wife and I no longer charge <u>anything</u> for the holidays. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><br />
<span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p>It’s too easy to spend money you don’t have when you charge things. In fact, when we take cash along for shopping, we spend within our means because we can literally see what we have to spend. I believe the concept of not overspending helps us enjoy Christmas and the New Year more!<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><br />
<span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span><b><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;">6.<span style="font-family: "; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span></b><b><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;">Don’t eat too many sweets.<o:p></o:p></span></b><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><br />
<span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p>Not only is it important to not overdo the sweats because of weight and health, but refined sugar is truly an “enemy” of those who have mood disorders. As all too many of us know, when you eat or drink something sweet you will get a little “sugar rush;” then when the rush is past, you will experience a low. Needless to say, for those of us with mood disorders this can be counterproductive to maintaining a healthy “mood range.” <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><br />
<span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p>It’s more than just a challenge for me to not overdo the sweets! I love them. And on top of that, I love coffee along with my sweets! Caffeine is another one of those “enemies” of mood! My doctor tells me that he could most likely produce a mild mania in someone by giving them enough caffeine. After all, caffeine is a drug.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><br />
<span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p>7.<span style="font-family: "; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><b><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;">If your mood “sags” then get out! If your mood “winds up” stay in!</span></b><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><br />
<span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p>We all need some sunlight. In the winter there is less of it. Also, we tend to spend more time inside during the winter. It’s important to spend some time outside taking in a little sunlight. At our house we have moved to full spectrum lighting which helps. If you have access to a tanning bed that does not give off the cancer causing UV rays, consider spending some time tanning this winter. I know in past winters when I have done this, it really helped my mood.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><br />
<span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p>If you are able to afford it, taking a trip to a place where it is warm can really help break up the long bleak Midwest winters and help your mood.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><br />
<span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p>If you are one whose mood “sags” during the holiday season; don’t allow yourself to isolate. Keep yourself busy. Plan to do things with others and just “fake it” until you begin to feel your mood lift. Socialization with other people helps your mood improve.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><br />
<span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p>For those of us who “wind up” during the holidays it can be helpful to stay home and quiet ourselves by doing things around the house. For me, I know that if I start to run a list of errands and do all kinds of shopping, I can easily find myself “winding up” which is not good. During the holidays I also force myself to start doing some work that will need to be done in January and February. For instance, as a pastor I’m already working on Lent and Easter services. It helps me to not put all of my own “emotional eggs” into the Christmas basket.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><br />
<span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span><b><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;">8.<span style="font-family: "; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span></b><b><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;">Don’t isolate.<o:p></o:p></span></b><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><br />
<span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p>Loneliness is the single most difficult emotion that people deal with during the holidays. If you are going to be alone for the holidays and know that you will struggle with loneliness, then you need to develop a game plan that will enable you to be around people. Consider volunteering at the hospital or a homeless shelter on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. Focus on others. Keep yourself busy. Find others that are also going to be alone and plan a Christmas dinner or a New Year’s Eve party with them. Or if you have a close friend that has family, spend time with them. Just don’t isolate. When we isolate we start to focus on being alone and then we easily ruminate about the sad feelings, causing our mood to slip lower and lower, even to the point of bringing about a depressive episode.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><br />
<span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p>You might consider doing something that you really enjoy doing the day following a big holiday. For example, on December 26<sup>th</sup> consider doing something that is a “treat” for you along with some of your friends. It always helps to have something to look forward to.<o:p></o:p></span><b><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><br />
<b><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><b><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p>9.<span style="font-family: "; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span></b><b><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"> Be accountable. <o:p></o:p></span></b><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><br />
<span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p>It’s so important to have a circle of accountability. When you have people that are going to check in on you and you checking in on others you begin to create a circle of accountability. It’s important to have those “check-in points” with others. And it is most helpful when those that check-in on us are also able to talk with the others that check are checking in on us and also have the ability to let our doctor or therapist know what is going on. It makes for a complete circle of accountability around us! And it’s a great way to keep ourselves emotionally safe and stable at all times.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><br />
<span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span><b><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;">10.<span style="font-family: "; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span></b><b><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;">Spend time with the Lord.<o:p></o:p></span></b><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><br />
<span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p>Spending time with the Lord is the most important thing to do. Spend time in the Word. Spend time in prayer. Spend time with others reading the Word and praying. After all, it’s all about Him. He made you and can very well manage your mood with His Word. However, many times people use this as the excuse to isolate. In other words, they get into the “it’s Jesus and me” kind of thinking, which sounds very spiritual but is not even biblical! (The Bible says that we need one another and are to never forsake the gathering of the Body of Christ in worship, etc.) <br />
</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p> </o:p> <br />
</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;">I suppose I could add an eleventh thing, but I believe it’s obvious. Take your medicine! If you suffer from a mood disorder it’s impossible to manage mood without it. You can’t get better without it. And take your medicine just the way that it was prescribed to you. If you don’t think it’s working, then you need to call your doctor and not make a decision about it on your own. Keep your doctor in the loop at all times. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0in;"><br />
<span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p>If you find your mood sagging or escalating and you are not managing it well, you must call your doctor. Let him/her know. They very well might suggest a change in your medicine. Why? Because what you and I struggle with is in fact a physiological health issue. It’s just like diabetes. You need to take care of yourself, but sometimes you need more or less medicine just because of what your body is doing chemically. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0in;"><br />
<span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p>If your brain chemistry is off, then the medicine will stabilize it. Having a mood disorder is NOT a character flaw nor is it a moral issue. It is a physical issue with the brain that affects behavior. And when left un-medicated it keeps us from behaving appropriately to the challenges of life! I choose to look at it this way: if I had diabetes I wouldn’t stop taking my insulin. And I would certainly understand that I could not make my body fix itself by just changing my thinking. The same is true with depression or bipolar disorder. Until you and I understand this and start to help others understand it, there will continue to be the stigma about mental health issues. We need to start with each of us understanding it first.</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"> <br />
</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0in;"></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;">This year both of our grown children, their spouses and our two grandchildren will be home for Christmas. We are looking forward to a great Christmas together. And for me to stay on top of managing my mood is a very important part of making it a special time. After all, if Papa’s “out of control” it will be an “out of control” Christmas for everybody!<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p>A peaceful, joy-filled, Spirit-led and mood-stable Christmas because of the stable of Bethlehem to all of you!<o:p></o:p></span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396075303050089799.post-23225444712413419752009-11-09T14:45:00.000-08:002009-11-10T07:13:00.969-08:00Coming to Terms with the Diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder<meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CBRADHO%7E1%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><link rel="Preview" 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mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";} </style> <![endif]-->Maybe I’m an exception, but I hope not. When the doctor told me that she believed I was Bipolar I was relieved-big time! Why? Well, I had behaviors and problems that I could not explain. See, I had been accused of doing something that I couldn’t remember, nor was it something that I had ever desired to do when I was “sane” and in my “healthy mind.” I was out of control!<br /><br />There were times that I would go out late at night driving as fast as I could on extremely hilly, gravel country roads. While going 80 miles an hour or more I would turn off the car lights, open the car door and put my foot out the open door. I know, it sounds crazy doesn’t it? Well, let me tell you--I felt crazy!<br /><br />For years I couldn’t explain the roaring engine I felt within my mind. I couldn’t explain some of the erratic and strange behaviors I had. I couldn’t explain and felt extremely shameful about the sometimes hyper sexuality phases of mania. Honestly, there were periods of time I could not account for- they were like black outs. I remember recalling those feelings now as the “swirly whirly” times. I felt high like someone who had taken a “boat load” of drugs. Focusing was difficult. Yet, other times (I suppose at just the “right time” of a manic phase or maybe hypo-manic phase) I could focus and get more work done in four or five days of working solid with no sleep than most folks could get done in four or five weeks!<br /><br />While I never truly had a depressed episode until the big “crash and burn” event, I did have episodes of extreme irritability during which I needed lots of sleep. So I would be awake for days with little sleep; working at an intensely hyper-creative rate, escaping at times by driving around very late at night. Then I would sleep for an extended period of time and feel “low.” During this time I would feel more melancholy, or reflective and mellow. But this phase of my mood swings would be for a very short time…and at times both of these moods happened at the same time!<br /><br />Prior to being diagnosed I was certain that not only was there something wrong with me, but that I was a bad person. I saw myself as a weak person because I couldn’t control myself. My self-esteem had slipped as low as the pits of hell. I was so ashamed of this “dark side,” yet no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t change it. At times the only thing that would work to manage these out-of-control episodes was acting out in some shameful way so that regret and shame would bring my mood down.<br /><br />So, when the doctor told me there was a name for all this unwanted, crazy behavior, I was so relieved! To top it off, there was medicine that would help me! Words don’t even begin to express the relief that I felt. Maybe that’s why I am surprised that there are so many people who have been diagnosed as being bipolar that not only struggle with coming to terms with the diagnosis, but actually refuse to believe it.<br /><br />While finding out I was bipolar was a relief; I’ve come to meet many others whose diagnosis was anything but relief. It seems that so many who hear the word “bipolar” from their doctor contend that they are not bipolar, spending months and sometimes years trying to “prove” to others that they are not. Or they might simply refuse to take their medicine, believing somehow that they can “will” themselves out of the diagnosis. I’ve met countless people who have struggled greatly with accepting their diagnosis only to have spent years with more pain, frustration, broken relationships, missed opportunities, rage, hospital stays and all the other havoc that the disorder brings. They fight to prove that there is nothing wrong with them! Yet, they know in their heart that “something” is wrong, but refuse to believe or accept that what is wrong has to do with their brain chemistry.<br /><br />Why? Most likely because of the stigma of having such a diagnosis. The stigma so often includes the idea that people with mental illness have character flaws and are “weak” mentally, etc. Most likely because most of us like to think we can control our thoughts and actions. Most likely because many times when you are bipolar you believe that everyone just doesn’t get what the issue is and you are convinced that everyone else needs the help.<br /><br />So people refuse to come to terms with the diagnosis of bipolar. Yet, in refusing to do so they end up suffering even longer with all of the effects of the disease: losing their job, developing addictions to alcohol, drugs and sex (of course, this is just a few of the addictions), continually having relationship issues and many times loss of friends, broken marriages, emotionally hurting their children because of mood swings, inability to cope, and rage… the list could go on and on!<br /><br />Maybe you are a person who is struggling with being bipolar, or maybe you don’t even believe you are and yet your doctor and everyone else around you are trying to convince you and encourage you to “get help.” Well, I’d love to offer some suggestions to possibly help you in coming to terms with your diagnosis:<br /><br /><ul><li>Understand that being diagnosed as bipolar is not a death sentence. In other words, Or maybe I should say, you don’t have to die from being bipolar! In other words, there’s a chance if left untreated you will die from it…if you become suicidal it will be because you have not received treatment or refused to take medicine, etc. </li><li>Of all the mental illnesses, bipolar is the most treatable! Now, that’s cause for hope! </li><li>Trust me-you may not believe you have issues that come with being bipolar and un-medicated, but everyone around you most likely knows it and experiences the pain. Start trusting them. Most of them probably love you deeply… and why would they want to hurt you by trying to get you help?</li><li>If your doctor has misdiagnosed you, then the medicine isn’t going to work in the long run and you’ll continue to have the problems that you have been having.</li><li>Be honest with yourself about the issues that are going on in your life instead of being defensive about the issues.</li><li>You can’t overcome this by “sheer will” anymore than you overcome a brain tumor by “sheer will!” This is an issue with your brain chemistry and it is NOT an issue about your character, morality, inner strength, spirituality or faith.</li><li>You are NOT a bad person because you are bipolar; but you most likely have some bad behaviors that are hurting you and the people around you if you are refusing to receive treatment.</li><li>If you don’t come to terms with the diagnosis and receive treatment, you are not going to be able to become all of who you have the potential to be in life. You will be holding yourself back and it will not be anyone else’s issue other than your own! And along the way you will most likely hurt those you love.</li><li>You don’t want the stigma of the disorder? Well, the only way to change that is to start changing how YOU think about it first! In fact, as you recover and come to terms with it, people around you will see the changes and begin to change how they think about it. If you come to terms with it and begin the recovery, it’s likely that most people won’t even know you have the disorder unless you tell them. BUT, if you won’t come to terms with it, fight the recovery and don’t take your meds or work through your issues with a counselor, EVERYONE around you will know that you have something that is wrong! (You’re only fooling yourself if you think otherwise!) </li><li>Choose to believe the people around you that love you. They have nothing to gain from your diagnosis of bipolar disorder except to see you recover from that which is robbing you of life. Choose to stop being defensive as they try to help you. Choose to let them help you. And thank God that they haven’t stopped loving you so much that they continue to “hang in there” with you and haven’t become another one of your broken relationships! </li><li>You don’t have to let “bipolar” become who you are. You don’t have to become your diagnosis. There is a lot more to you than simply being “bipolar.” Don’t let it define you!</li><li>You don’t have to be a victim of the disorder. Choose to be a victor over it. Choose to “push through” and live in spite of it! </li><li>Choose to live!</li><li>Let people help you; when you get better you can help others.</li><li>Accountability for your behavior is good.</li></ul><br />Are someone who had difficulties coming to term with your diagnosis. But, now have come to terms with it. What helped you in coming to terms with it? (I encourage you to post a comment- so that those who might be struggling with it yet- might also see what helped you.)<br /><br />If you are struggling with accepting your diagnosis what do you believe is the reason? Or what is a question(s) that you would like to ask please post a comment.<br /><br />Folks let’s get a dialog with one another here on the Fresh Hope blog.<br /><br />Gripped by Grace,<br />Pastor Brad Hoefs<br /><br /><p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-bottom: 6pt;"><font size="12"><o:p></o:p></font></p> Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396075303050089799.post-43792193326773569572009-05-08T10:19:00.000-07:002009-10-29T17:35:30.832-07:00Creativity, Medicine and You!<link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CBRADHO%7E1%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><link rel="themeData" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CBRADHO%7E1%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx"><link rel="colorSchemeMapping" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CBRADHO%7E1%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> 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font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";} </style> <![endif]--> <p style="font-family: arial;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Patty Duke’s book entitled “A Brilliant Madness” has an entire chapter focusing on the link between creativity and bipolar disorder.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">And I guess in some strange way I’ve always considered myself blessed to be bipolar.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">See, if I had to bear a cross in life I’d rather it be bipolar disorder than so many other things.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">To have bipolar disorder puts me and you in a very special group of people who are considered creative and/or brilliant!</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span></p> <p style="font-family: arial;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">For example the following musicians suffered bipolar disorder (Dr. Kay Redfield Jamison, pg. 203, <i style="">A Brilliant Madness</i>): George Frederic Handel, Robert Schumann, Hugo Wolf, Hector Berlioz and Gustav Mahler.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">They were all very different in personality but all shared this disorder in common.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">Others such as Lord Byron, Edgar Allan Poe, Anne Sexton and Virginia Wolf and Vincent van Gogh all whom were most likely bipolar have made brilliant contributions to society. Such great leaders as Winston Churchill and Abraham Lincoln are just a few of the great leaders of history that also were most likely bipolar.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span></p> <p style="font-family: arial;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">At the risk of sounding grandiose <i style="">(which without medicine I can do well…lol)</i>, I choose to look at having bipolar disorder as being part of a group who are special and uniquely gifted to offer their creativity to the world.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">Certainly I know with it comes difficult things and issues that are painful, but I also choose to see the “upside” of it.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span></p> <p style="font-family: arial;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Over the years I’ve heard of a lot of people who begin taking medicine for their mood disorder and they begin to feel sluggish and tired.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">Frankly, they miss the highs!</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">After all hypo-mania and mania can be a lot “fun” but also very damaging, but there’s a BIG cost to the “fun” of the highs.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">And the truth is that when we were manic or hypo-manic we could get a lot of things started <i style="">(and sometimes even finished)</i> and we were usually extremely creative.</span></p> <p style="font-family: arial;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">I’ve heard that Handel locked himself in a room and wrote the Messiah with little to no sleep and extremely focused on writing the music.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;"><i style="">(This may be folklore- I’m not sure this is a fact)</i> But, he was DRIVEN.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">He is always listed in the group of famous historical people who most likely had bipolar disorder. It would seem that he was not able to stop his brain with the creative flow of music to rest and maybe even to eat! </span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">I suspect he was in a creative manic high.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">But look what came out of it!</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span></p> <p style="font-family: arial;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">So, many of us like to argue the point that we are so much more creative when those “highs” came that “they” are “worth the cost”.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">But rather than looking at it that way, maybe we should be asking the question: If Handel had taken medicine for his bipolar disorder would we have ended up with the music of the “Messiah”?</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">I believe the answer is yes!</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">If he had had medicine to take we would have ended up with the Messiah and probably even more beautiful music from Handel.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">And his life would have been even more fulfilling and peaceful!</span></p> <p style="font-family: arial;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Yes, I know that that is very speculative. But, based upon my personal experience I believe it is true.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">I believe it because of what I have experienced with taking medicine for the last 14 years.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">What I have experienced is the ability to be highly creative and yet maintain balance and focus instead of a very driven chaotic creativeness. </span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">I experience a peaceful orderly ability to be creative and to follow through with the creativeness.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">I believe that I have not lost my creativity, but instead have gained the ability to be even more creative and enjoy it along the way!</span></p> <p style="font-family: arial;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">One of things that many of us say initially after taking medicine is that we “miss the highs”.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">The other thing that many of us say is that we don’t like feeling sluggish and we no longer feel creative.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">So, just in case you are feeling that way right now, please give it time.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">Stay on your medicine.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">Work with your doctor in getting the right combination of medicine to stabilize your mood.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">Give your body time to adjust.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">Sooner or later your body and moods will begin to “settle in”.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">And sooner or later you will be creative again- and full of life - but in a new and healthy way!</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span></p> <p style="font-family: arial;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Don’t give up!</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">I’m living proof that it is possible!</span></p> <p style="font-family: arial;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Please post your comments and questions about your own journey of recovery.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">Let’s start a dialog! </span></p> Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396075303050089799.post-31737940929789582122009-03-13T10:04:00.000-07:002009-10-29T17:36:07.698-07:00Life is Worth the Living! by Pastor Bradley Hoefs<p style="line-height: 14.25pt; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial;font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="color: rgb(51, 0, 51);">Not long ago my wife and I went to see Bill Gaither </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 0, 51);">(</span><a style="color: rgb(51, 0, 51);" href="http://www.gaither.com/"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);">http://www.gaither.com</span></a><span style="color: rgb(51, 0, 51);">)</span><span style="color: rgb(51, 0, 51);"> and his friends in concert. It was good! The last song they sang was “Because He Lives”… and while they sang suddenly a phrase of the song “stood out” to me as never before: </span><em style="color: rgb(51, 0, 51);">“and life is worth the living just because He lives.”</em><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="color: rgb(51, 0, 51);"> Boy, is that true! But, it’s ever so hard to even remotely believe much less do when you are experiencing the deepest darkest cre</span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">vasses of depression.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0px 0px 10pt; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial;font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Chances are if you are reading this blog you might be in that deep dark hole of the blackest black; that hole that clutches you and surrounds with nothing but dread, fear, anxiety and hopelessness.<span> </span><span> </span>You might just might be struggling with even living today much less believing that life is worth living!<span> </span>And the love of those who love you causes not even the faintest emotion within you.<span> </span>You feel lifeless, numb to anything but dread.<span> </span>Feeling as though someone has pushed you down into the cesspool of life and you can’t breathe.<span> </span>And those around you keep saying, “get up, pull-up your boot straps!”<span> </span><span> </span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0px 0px 10pt; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial;font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-size:85%;">I know, I’ve been there.<span> </span>I’ve been at that point where I was curled up in the fetal position hiding in the closet with the lights out rocking back and forth with nothing else other that hot tears flowing down my cheeks.<span> </span>I know, I’ve been there.<span> </span>I was sure I couldn’t go on.<span> </span>Just to keep breathing was all I could do.<span> </span>I couldn’t think.<span> </span>I couldn’t believe.<span> </span>I couldn’t hope.<span> </span>I was stuck… stuck in dread…stuck in fear.<span> </span>No matter how hard I tried to “believe again” it didn’t help.<span> </span>I just need the faith of mustard seed of hope and I didn’t even have that.<span> </span>The days were dark and the nights were even darker and longer.<span> </span>There were no “boot-straps to pull-up”.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0px 0px 10pt; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial;font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Life?<span> </span>Live? Keep going on? Yes!<span> </span>Why?<span> </span>Because He lives!<span> </span>Because He loves you.<span> </span>Because He is there with you.<span> </span>Because He feels your pain.<span> </span>Because He forgives you.<span> </span>Because He is in the business of working something good out of something so bad.<span> </span>Because even walking through this “valley of the shadow of death” is worth walking through.<span> </span>See, when you are going through hell don’t stop!</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0px 0px 10pt; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial;font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Today all you may be able to do is breathe.<span> </span>And if that is all you can do then just do that.<span> </span>If today you can just keep putting one foot in front of the other in spite of everything- just do that.<span> </span>Just do what you can do today.<span> </span>Take your medicine. Take a walk.<span> </span>Call a friend.<span> </span>Cry out to God. Watch these videos I’ve posted here.<span> </span>Today, just let Him love you.<span> </span>And as you take “just a step” day by day it will get better.<span> </span>Day by day “living life” will return.<span> </span>Day by day the darkness will subside.<span> </span>Day by day hope will return.<span> </span>And day by day life will be worth the living just because He lives!</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0px 0px 10pt; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial;font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-size:85%;">He knows you.<span> </span>He loves you.<span> </span>He’s with you.<span> </span>And He is for you!</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0px 0px 10pt; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial;font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Pastor Brad Hoefs</span></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396075303050089799.post-3552411903105162652009-03-13T07:54:00.000-07:002009-10-29T17:36:28.304-07:00Feel Alone in Your Struggle? Support Matters!<div style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: arial;font-family:verdana;" class="snap_preview"> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0px 0px 10pt;font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-size:85%;">How alone do you feel?<span> </span>Do you have other people in your life that are going through similar things who can relate to you and help you in your shared journey?<span> </span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0px 0px 10pt;font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-size:85%;">It seems t that many of us spend too much of our lives feeling alone and isolated with our struggles. <span> </span>For whatever reason, we end up believing that our struggles are so unique that we are the “exception.”<span> </span>And for those of us who have mood disorders, it’s even more so!<span> </span>Because of the very nature of depression or mania, we end up isolating ourselves and feeling even more alone in our lives!<span> </span>So, we end up suffering all alone in silence way too long, trying to figure it out ourselves.<span> </span>That’s why having a support system is so important.<span> </span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0px 0px 10pt;font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-size:85%;">A support system made up of others who are experiencing or have experienced the same things is a key to understanding ourselves and a key to our recovery.<span> </span>When you and I know that there is someone who has “been there” and can assure us that things will get better, it gives us hope.<span> </span>There are times when someone else can give us insight into dealing with our mood disorder just by telling about their own journey.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0px 0px 10pt;font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-size:85%;">For many years I didn’t seek out any type of support.<span> </span>I figured I could handle it myself.<span> </span>Plus, I was sure that I was unique in my struggles.<span> </span>Also, I had a lot of shame about my private behaviors and my thinking that kept me from wanting anyone else to know.<span> </span>And pride kept me from wanting to expose my struggles.<span> </span>So, while my pride and shame kept me from seeking out others who might understand, my bipolar disorder continued to worsen and wreak havoc in my life.<span> </span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0px 0px 10pt;font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-size:85%;">While I had no idea exactly what my struggle was, I felt as though I was living with a monster within that I couldn’t control and that it was my own fault or flaw!<span> </span>And I was certain that I didn’t want to open up about it to anyone for fear that they would conclude that I was weak (or had a character flaw) and couldn’t control my thoughts and behavior.<span> </span>And little did I know that by <span style="text-decoration: underline;">not</span> seeking out others who could understand and help, I was just making things worse for myself and those that loved me.<span> </span>My stubbornness, shame and pride were all getting in the way of me overcoming my struggles.<span> </span>In the meantime, I just kept getting sicker.<span> </span>My mood swings became more and more dramatic and I was hurting those around me by my rapid cycling between my highs and lows and-at times-mixed moods.<span> </span>That is, until a major bipolar episode that was filled with shame and hurt that left me so broken that finding that support system was a necessity.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0px 0px 10pt;font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-size:85%;">How about you?<span> </span>If you don’t have a support system, why not?<span> </span>Do you have any idea of how much help others who have gone through or are going through what you are going through can be to you?<span> </span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0px 0px 10pt;font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Maybe you’ve experienced what I’ve experienced through a healthy and helpful support group; support and care!<span> </span>If so, post a comment here.<span> </span>It just might encourage someone to summon up the courage to go to that group to help them in a journey to wellness and wholeness… a discovery of fresh hope!</span></p></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396075303050089799.post-48053287278118898672009-03-13T07:29:00.000-07:002009-10-29T17:37:00.343-07:00Bipolar? There is HOPE!<div style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial;" class="snap_preview"> <p style="line-height: 14.25pt;font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-size:85%;">It was my second appointment with the Doctor. By now I had been to several group meetings. After hearing some of the crazy things that others had done who were bipolar I began to start wondering if I was possibly bipolar. So, I asked her, “Do you think I’m maybe bipolar?” </span></p> <p style="line-height: 14.25pt;font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-size:85%;">And she responded with firm, “Yes, of course you are.”<span> </span>And then she smiled.</span></p> <p style="line-height: 14.25pt;font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-size:85%;">And I responded by asking, “Why didn’t you tell me that the last time I was here?”</span></p> <p style="line-height: 14.25pt;font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-size:85%;">And she said, “Because you never shut-up long enough for me to talk!”<span> </span></span></p> <p style="line-height: 14.25pt;font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-size:85%;">And I thought to myself, “I did NOT talk that much lady!”</span></p> <p style="line-height: 14.25pt;font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-size:85%;">See, after a very public and extremely painful manic episode that landed me a lot of trouble and the deepest depression, a doctor friend, believing she was helping me, had put me on an anti-depressant for the several months prior to my arriving at the hospital for out-patient treatment. By the time I got to the hospital in Michigan I was ready to run the place! I figured that I could do it better than they were doing it! </span></p> <p style="line-height: 14.25pt;font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-size:85%;">I was in rare form. I was in the crisis of my life and yet I was ready to take on the world! Welcome to the world of bipolar disorder. A world of roller coaster rides of ups and downs and sometimes ups and downs at the same time.<span> </span>It had been world of non-stop thoughts, exaggerated sense of superman-self and a dark world of bizarre behaviors.</span></p> <p style="line-height: 14.25pt;font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-size:85%;">I was so relieved.<span> </span>It explained so much.<span> </span>For, some had suggested that maybe it was nothing more than sin.<span> </span>Others wondered if it might be a personality disorder.<span> </span>But for me there was relief.<span> </span>There was a reason for this chaotic dark world of behavior that I had no explanation for that had left me feeling hopeless many nights.<span> </span>It meant that the “monster” that felt like lived inside of me was no longer going to get to control me.<span> </span>There now were reasons, not excuses, but reasons for the bizarre behaviors that had caused not only me, but the ones I love the so MUCH pain.<span> </span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0px 0px 10pt;font-family:verdana;"><span style="line-height: 115%;font-size:85%;" >So, I simply couldn’t understand my wife’s tears when I told her.<span> </span>Why wasn’t she happy?<span> </span>She knew all too well what it meant.<span> </span>She knew the struggle all too well.<span> </span>She knew there were some very long and dark days ahead.<span> </span>And she was right.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0px 0px 10pt;font-family:verdana;"><span style="line-height: 115%;font-size:85%;" >As the next few weeks unfolded and the medicine began to stabilize my mood, reality began to be real again.<span> </span>The more reality got real; the more pain I began to feel.<span> </span>And I began to grieve.<span> </span>I grieved about what I had done and the people I had hurt.<span> </span>I grieved about having to live as someone with a mental illness.<span> </span>I grieved about what it meant for the future.<span> </span>Grief gave way to regret and the regret gave way to hopelessness.<span> </span>How could anything good come from what had happened?<span> </span>How could I move forward?<span> </span>How could I have hope?<span> </span>After all, the medicine made me feel bland and lifeless.<span> </span>So, why even bother to have hope?<span> </span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0px 0px 10pt;font-family:verdana;"><span style="line-height: 115%;font-size:85%;" >Life as it was- was over.<span> </span>Back at home were two children and a wife that been hurt deeply.<span> </span><span> </span>Back at home was a church that had been hurt along with leaders who had already asked me to resign before me even knowing what was really wrong.<span> </span>And there I was some 600 miles away in a motel room weeping.<span> </span>I was lonely, afraid and hopeless with no clue of how to move forward.<span> </span>I didn’t want to die but I wanted the peace of being dead.<span> </span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0px 0px 10pt;font-family:verdana;"><span style="line-height: 115%;font-size:85%;" >Well, that was some thirteen years ago.<span> </span>That was then, this is now.<span> </span>And I have more hope than I’ve ever had before.<span> </span>It’s been a long journey to this point of fresh hope, but it has been worth it.<span> </span>And that’s the reason for this blog.<span> </span>To give you hope if you too are one who is possibly on the same journey.<span> </span>I’m hoping to offer up fresh hope to those of you who are bipolar.<span> </span>I’ll share my journey in this blog and together we can begin a dialog about getting up and choosing to live each day with hope.<span> </span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0px 0px 10pt;font-family:verdana;"><span style="line-height: 115%;font-size:85%;" >Maybe today you are at a point of hopelessness or at best a point of lifeless indifference because of your medicine.<span> </span>Have hope my friend.<span> </span>The best is yet to come.<span> </span>Yes, THE BEST is yet to come!<span> </span></span></p> <p style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Pastor Brad Hoefs</span></p><p> <span style="font-size:85%;"><a href="http://www.communityofgrace.net/">www.communityofgrace.net</a>, <a href="http://www.freshhope.us/">www.FreshHope.us</a>, <a href="http://www.heygod.net/">www.HeyGod.net</a></span></p></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0