Friday, March 13, 2009

Feel Alone in Your Struggle? Support Matters!

How alone do you feel? Do you have other people in your life that are going through similar things who can relate to you and help you in your shared journey?

It seems t that many of us spend too much of our lives feeling alone and isolated with our struggles. For whatever reason, we end up believing that our struggles are so unique that we are the “exception.” And for those of us who have mood disorders, it’s even more so! Because of the very nature of depression or mania, we end up isolating ourselves and feeling even more alone in our lives! So, we end up suffering all alone in silence way too long, trying to figure it out ourselves. That’s why having a support system is so important.

A support system made up of others who are experiencing or have experienced the same things is a key to understanding ourselves and a key to our recovery. When you and I know that there is someone who has “been there” and can assure us that things will get better, it gives us hope. There are times when someone else can give us insight into dealing with our mood disorder just by telling about their own journey.

For many years I didn’t seek out any type of support. I figured I could handle it myself. Plus, I was sure that I was unique in my struggles. Also, I had a lot of shame about my private behaviors and my thinking that kept me from wanting anyone else to know. And pride kept me from wanting to expose my struggles. So, while my pride and shame kept me from seeking out others who might understand, my bipolar disorder continued to worsen and wreak havoc in my life.

While I had no idea exactly what my struggle was, I felt as though I was living with a monster within that I couldn’t control and that it was my own fault or flaw! And I was certain that I didn’t want to open up about it to anyone for fear that they would conclude that I was weak (or had a character flaw) and couldn’t control my thoughts and behavior. And little did I know that by not seeking out others who could understand and help, I was just making things worse for myself and those that loved me. My stubbornness, shame and pride were all getting in the way of me overcoming my struggles. In the meantime, I just kept getting sicker. My mood swings became more and more dramatic and I was hurting those around me by my rapid cycling between my highs and lows and-at times-mixed moods. That is, until a major bipolar episode that was filled with shame and hurt that left me so broken that finding that support system was a necessity.

How about you? If you don’t have a support system, why not? Do you have any idea of how much help others who have gone through or are going through what you are going through can be to you?

Maybe you’ve experienced what I’ve experienced through a healthy and helpful support group; support and care! If so, post a comment here. It just might encourage someone to summon up the courage to go to that group to help them in a journey to wellness and wholeness… a discovery of fresh hope!

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