Friday, May 8, 2009

Creativity, Medicine and You!

Patty Duke’s book entitled “A Brilliant Madness” has an entire chapter focusing on the link between creativity and bipolar disorder. And I guess in some strange way I’ve always considered myself blessed to be bipolar. See, if I had to bear a cross in life I’d rather it be bipolar disorder than so many other things. To have bipolar disorder puts me and you in a very special group of people who are considered creative and/or brilliant!

For example the following musicians suffered bipolar disorder (Dr. Kay Redfield Jamison, pg. 203, A Brilliant Madness): George Frederic Handel, Robert Schumann, Hugo Wolf, Hector Berlioz and Gustav Mahler. They were all very different in personality but all shared this disorder in common. Others such as Lord Byron, Edgar Allan Poe, Anne Sexton and Virginia Wolf and Vincent van Gogh all whom were most likely bipolar have made brilliant contributions to society. Such great leaders as Winston Churchill and Abraham Lincoln are just a few of the great leaders of history that also were most likely bipolar.

At the risk of sounding grandiose (which without medicine I can do well…lol), I choose to look at having bipolar disorder as being part of a group who are special and uniquely gifted to offer their creativity to the world. Certainly I know with it comes difficult things and issues that are painful, but I also choose to see the “upside” of it.

Over the years I’ve heard of a lot of people who begin taking medicine for their mood disorder and they begin to feel sluggish and tired. Frankly, they miss the highs! After all hypo-mania and mania can be a lot “fun” but also very damaging, but there’s a BIG cost to the “fun” of the highs. And the truth is that when we were manic or hypo-manic we could get a lot of things started (and sometimes even finished) and we were usually extremely creative.

I’ve heard that Handel locked himself in a room and wrote the Messiah with little to no sleep and extremely focused on writing the music. (This may be folklore- I’m not sure this is a fact) But, he was DRIVEN. He is always listed in the group of famous historical people who most likely had bipolar disorder. It would seem that he was not able to stop his brain with the creative flow of music to rest and maybe even to eat! I suspect he was in a creative manic high. But look what came out of it!

So, many of us like to argue the point that we are so much more creative when those “highs” came that “they” are “worth the cost”. But rather than looking at it that way, maybe we should be asking the question: If Handel had taken medicine for his bipolar disorder would we have ended up with the music of the “Messiah”? I believe the answer is yes! If he had had medicine to take we would have ended up with the Messiah and probably even more beautiful music from Handel. And his life would have been even more fulfilling and peaceful!

Yes, I know that that is very speculative. But, based upon my personal experience I believe it is true. I believe it because of what I have experienced with taking medicine for the last 14 years. What I have experienced is the ability to be highly creative and yet maintain balance and focus instead of a very driven chaotic creativeness. I experience a peaceful orderly ability to be creative and to follow through with the creativeness. I believe that I have not lost my creativity, but instead have gained the ability to be even more creative and enjoy it along the way!

One of things that many of us say initially after taking medicine is that we “miss the highs”. The other thing that many of us say is that we don’t like feeling sluggish and we no longer feel creative. So, just in case you are feeling that way right now, please give it time. Stay on your medicine. Work with your doctor in getting the right combination of medicine to stabilize your mood. Give your body time to adjust. Sooner or later your body and moods will begin to “settle in”. And sooner or later you will be creative again- and full of life - but in a new and healthy way!

Don’t give up! I’m living proof that it is possible!

Please post your comments and questions about your own journey of recovery. Let’s start a dialog!